Martha Stewart is my friend!

So next time you need to rearrange your flowers or need to make a quick buck on the stock market, call me. I’ll put you in touch with the right person.

Yes, this really is Martha Stewart. And no, she is not really a friend. But both facts raise interesting issues:

First, how do you know that who somebody says they are is really who they are. In other words, how do you know that Martha is not Arthur? I know this is the real McCoy because the link to her profile came to me from a very reputable source, linked to Martha’s PR agency. Also, if you take a careful look at her profile, you realise that it really must be her. Or someone is very, very bored.

But on Facebook you must look at Martha’s profile before you can make that assertion, and Facebook does not allow you to view profiles of people who do not share your network and who are not your friends. It’s a bit of a catch-22. You have to request Martha to be your friend before you even know you are communicating with the right person. (Tip: there is a way around this. If you send a person who is not your friend or in your network a message and they reply to it, Facebook will usually allow you to view their profile from within that reply.).

Profile pictures can be misleading. Search Facebook for Robert Mugabe, Oprah or Bill Clinton to see what I mean.

Second, have you noticed how the definition of friend has changed drastically over the past year or so? In real life, I probably have about 50 friends, and most of them are not on Facebook. On Facebook, I also have about 50 friends, but I wouldn’t call many of them if, say, I had a death in the family. These are people whom I have (mostly) met, who I think are any combination of cool, fun, great, smart, networked or good-looking. Except for the obvious exceptions like Martha, I would feel very comfortable sending off a personal email or request to any of them, and I like seeing what they are up to in their online lives. But at best, they are acquaintances, with the potential of becoming friends.

Robert Scoble has 4 997 friends on Facebook (including me). He can only have a maximum of 5 000, so there are three spaces up for grabs. Some people are voluntarily abandoning their connection to him, to make space for people who might better benefit from having him in their network. He recently Twittered that he has a waiting list of 20 people who want to be his friends.

Loic le Meur of LeWeb fame, Twittered this morning that he is

browsing photo albums of Facebook friends I don’t know much. Weird. Duno [sic] any of the people on the pictures. Like being on somebody else life.

But it is his life!

Personally, I am not yet at the stage where I will add people to my profile whom I don’t know, even if only by reputation or some sort of online interchange. But plenty of people do.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong way here. I guess it depends on your goals. And since it is not my goal ever to have to baste a turkey or make curtains out of my prom dress, perhaps Martha really shouldn’t be my friend.

Wait! I forgot about the stock-market tips.

Let her stay.