The world has gone crazy. So what if a black African parent allowed their child to be called “the coolest monkey in the jungle”, in exchange for money. It’s their prerogative as to what exactly constitutes an insult. It’s not like the child was illiterate, it’s not like his parents were illiterate. That’s not even the worst part of the palaver.

How dare H&M suggest that white women are whores or slags to use the English phrase! An innocent white boy, accused of being a “mangrove jungle (tiger) survival expert”! Why didn’t H&M just put out an ad saying this boy’s mother is a whore or a slag? The tiger is a legendary puss, or poes to use the Afrikaans phrase, but to be a mangrove jungle (tiger) survival expert would be a puss, or poes, that is adept at surviving dangerous and rancid smelling conditions.

Where would an innocent young white boy learn to trawl the red light districts of this world if not from his mother. Notwithstanding the obvious dangers of HIV, STD, STI and other occupational hazards, a well experienced puss, or poes, would be fluent with tidal patterns, and salty conditions. Can we just say, that it would be almost merchant navy stock in trade.

And not just well traded, well worn, on the game for a while, no – survival expert! That kind of puss, or poes, is undoubtedly well known – and well acquainted with dealing with industrial norms like pimps and gigolos. To be a mangrove jungle (tiger) survival expert, would be the kind of puss or poes that stares down and laughs at VD of all sorts and types. Sex-workers will undoubtedly agree that a mangrove jungle (tiger) survival expert would be a legend on the game among sex-workers.

But to slight a young white boy like that. Surely there are some bounds to reason and decency. Not so according to H&M, according to H&M black people are monkeys and white people are whores, and the black people who wear H&M are the coolest monkeys in the jungle, and the white people who wear H&M are the mangrove jungle (tiger) survival experts.

Unless I’m wrong and the black African people have only been complaining about only being monkeys, and would rather be whores like the white European people, not that that would be a case of monkey see monkey do or anything.



Avishkar Govender

Avishkar Govender is the Chief Political Officer of MicroGene.

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