Life’s peachy in Zim

Definition of “crisis”, according to the Webster’s dictionary:
A crucial or decisive point or situation; a turning point / An unstable condition, as in political, social, or economic affairs, involving an impending abrupt or decisive change / An emotionally stressful event or traumatic change in a person’s life.

Synonyms: crisis, crossroad, exigency, head, juncture, pass. These nouns denote a critical point or state of affairs: a military crisis; government policy at the crossroad; a problem that is coming to a head; negotiations that had reached a crucial juncture; things rapidly coming to a desperate pass.

According to our honourable President Thabo Mbeki — I mean your president, as I am not yet allowed to vote — there ain’t no crisis in Zimbabwe.

Yip, all is peachy and rosy across the border. That is why 2,5-million Zimbabweans live in South Africa. Life is so immensely good in Zim that these lucky buggers can’t bear to live there and feel the constant urge to crawl though our border fences each and every day — simply because they have had enough with their fabulous lives back home.

As we all know, Zimbabwe is the nursery of political freedom in Africa. It is one of those nations where one has the liberty to choose any political party or leader without ending up in intensive care. Or six feet under. Additionally, Zimbabwean elections historically have been rated as “the fairest of them all” — a true example to other African nations. Never, ever have there been problems with counting votes; always has there been a healthy change of power in this country as the opposition has always had a true chance to manifest itself freely.

In Zimbabwe, journalists are most welcome to write about whatever and whomever they want without having their newsrooms raided, their editors jailed and their newspapers closed. Not to forget, Zimbabwe’s doors — of the country, not of the jails, of course — are open to foreign journalists and photographers.

The economy is booming in Zimbabwe, the agricultural sector is thriving, inflation hardly exists and poverty is something of the past. And not to forget, the Zim dollar is as strong as its American counterpart.

Of all African countries, it seems that Zimbabwe will be the only one that will achieve the Millennium Development Goals. Ahead of time, that is.

If it were only so … sigh …