Let's talk about sex, baby

Few topics generate as much buzz as sex. It also continues to be one of the greatest sources of division in society, and perhaps one of its most persistent. These divisions relate not only to positions, but also between the “haves” and the “have-nots”.

Despite major advances in our understanding of the human body, its capabilities and the psychological, social, economic and even political dynamics of sex, women continue to be on the receiving end. The unfortunate reality is that most women seem to be taking it lying down, while there are very few who are willing to stand up and take control.

The “sexual revolution” may seem impractical, unfeasible even, but it is not only women who stand to benefit from the radical transformation in the “natural” order of things. The idea that “sex is destiny” is as persistent in our society as its equally misinformed counterpart with regards to race.

To paraphrase Ramphele (2009: 73) on race, sexism is essentially the use of the concept “sexes” “to establish a hierarchy / order of power relationships by assigning value to categories of people defined as inferior or superior”. Sexism equally thrives on the establishment and perpetuation of a “socio-economic and political mechanism that justifies treating fellow human beings as ‘others’ “, a process predicated on not only biological and physiological differences, but also the cultural, social and economic values assigned to these. As with racism, sexism holds the idea that the penis is superior and imbues the honourable member “with higher-order capabilities that include morality and ethics”.

Though women suffer the most at the hand of sexist prejudice, the implications of the misguided beliefs that emanate from the societal values assigned to female genitalia reach further than only those who possess them. Gender inequality, rooted in the social construct that accompanies sex, thrives on the social and cultural distinctions between the sexes, subjecting both men and women to often malicious notions of “feminine” and “masculine” behaviour, mistreating or frowning upon those who do not conform.

Sex, and gender, becomes destiny. Women can’t be engineers or make it in the corporate world without conforming to the male-dominated work environment and discarding the dress. Similarly, men who aspire to be nurses, hairdressers, interior or fashion designers, or even prefer pink drinks, become sissy boys and social deviants in the man’s world.

Unfortunately discrimination against women, and the accompanying social values emanating from these views of women as inferior, “is a common feature of all South African cultures” which “is deeply embedded in our social relationships and shapes notions of power in our society” (Ramphele 2009: 99). We live in a fundamentally patriarchal society and altering the political and socio-economic landscape of sex and gender, as Ramphele (2009: 99) argues, requires “a radical change in the attitudes and practices at the personal, family, community, institutional and national levels”. In other words, as “radical” feminists view it, a “sexual revolution” reordering gender relations and constructing a non-sexist society in which people will be valued according to their personal worth rather than on the basis of gender.

The idea of a non-sexist society is not an unfamiliar one to South Africans, it is entrenched in the founding document of our post-apartheid democracy and most often and loudly proclaimed by the ANC. Sadly both the tangible commitment of our government to the founding provisions of our nation, and that of the ANC to its own Constitution and the Freedom Charter it so possessively clings to, is questionable at best or non-existent at worst.

At the helm of both government and the party we have a man who deems it admirable to hit another man that has the audacity to betray
his superior position in society and “bend over” for another of the same sex. Our First Citizen further considers the opposite sex an
object that, when adorned in the right display, is like an item on sale in a shop just begging to be bagged. Sadly neither of the two semi-autonomous structures of the ruling party fare any better on championing women’s rights, especially and counter-intuitively the ANC Women’s League (ANCWL) who threw their weight behind the aforementioned exemplary leader while seemingly having no qualms with their associates in the Youth League.

The responsibility to protect our Constitution and advance gender equality fell on a civil-society organisation that, despite being under-staffed and under-resourced, is a greater champion of non-sexism than the ruling party and without so much as a shred of support from the ANCWL. Additionally, the ruling party’s greatest initiative in championing women’s rights was setting up a dysfunctional puppet ministry to hold parties under the guise of furthering the cause of gender equality (clumsily lumped together with the vastly different interest of the youth and people with disabilities). Even the National Youth Development Agency (NYDA) does not report to this ministry but resides in the presidency, perhaps because a ministry for youth run by a woman is unfit to handle the workload.

This is not surprising, considering a caller to a radio show quoted by Ramphele (2009: 100) vehemently believes that “women are too emotional and illogical. They do not have the intellectual wherewithal to run organisations or companies. They can’t make sound decisions unless there is a man they can use as a crutch”.

Sadly South Africans continue to believe in the messianic power of political parties, and not just the likes of the ANC, DA or Cope, but glamorous events (like the NYDA bash and the above-mentioned ministry’s poorly executed Women’s Month celebrations) and state-driven, lip-service delivery.

It is not the state, government or any political party and its affiliates that will bring about the total social, economic and political emancipation of women, equalise gender relations and eradicate the gendered nature and gaze of our society. It requires a total onslaught, an effort that addresses the very fabric of our society and relationships at the personal, family, community, institutional and national level, and it is not and should not be left up to woman alone to agitate and bring about the sexual revolution. Men who like their pink drinks, or value their wives, mothers, sisters or daughters are equally responsible, and upon failing to do so, equally culpable in treating the “other” as an inferior and of lesser worth.

We often talk about white denialism and white guilt but fail to recognise or even discuss our collective culpability in the corrective rape of a lesbian woman in Khayelitsha; our collective responsibility for believing a man is allowed to hit a woman and our collective contribution to the preferential treatment of men in the economic world.
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Bibliography:

Heywood, A. 2009. Politics (Third Edition). New York: Palgrave Macmillan.
Ramphele, M. 2009. Laying Ghosts to Rest: Dilemmas of the transformation in South Africa. Cape Town: Tafelberg Current Affairs