Let's Perth(fontein) again like we did last summer

For my sins I have a sister who lives in Perth(fontein), Australia and family tradition dictates that Christmas every year is spent in Perth(fontein). So yes, you guessed it, I will soon be packing my bag and heading off down under for yet another Christmas in a country that has long since forgotten how to spell “beer” and rather prefers to put four Xs in its place instead. So much for the pleasures of island living. Every year I also get the same comment from colleagues, which typically runs along the lines of “I hope you’re coming back!”.

Let’s get one thing straight, I will definitely be coming back if only for two reasons, one I can live with and the other one I can’t.

First, what can I live with? The fact that Australia is the second most water-distressed continent on the Earth. In essence, they don’t have enough water for all the citizens of Australia. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that Australia was technically full at 15 million people. With a population of (pushing) 20 million people there are not enough natural resources to sustain the population. Part of the reason why Australia is so water distressed is because it is possible for farmers to mortgage their water access. So if your farm backs onto the Swan River, not only can you mortgage your land you can also mortgage your river frontage. And here you thought South African banks were the only original lot to come up with ingenious ways of getting clients into debt. So in order to finance their mortgages (liquid or otherwise) farmers are required to take more than their fair share of water. The nett result is that the Murray and Darling rivers are beginning to dry up as they flow (trickle?) through the state of Victoria.

Now for the bit I can’t live with …

Last year I met some cousins on my father’s side of the family for the first time. They seemed genuinely surprised that South Africans also come in white. As we were travelling on a bus from one side of Perth(fontein) to the other one of my cousins kept asking whether every black person we saw was South African. This all being premised on the fact that I had mentioned to them the significant number of South Africans living in Perth(fontein), a fact to which they were completely oblivious. So I would like to think that I did my bit for cultural enlightenment, the advancement of good relations between South Africa and Australia and all that sort of thing. So far so good.

The next day travelling down a freeway in Perth(fontein) (highways as we call them are called freeways there, go figure) a bakkie drives past and as the bakkie overtook me I saw an old South African flag plastered on the back of the bakkie. I am all for freedom of expression, but that is taking things a little too far, in my opinion. I was very tempted to pull up next to the bakkie and give the driver a piece of my mind … at 120km/h. The only problem with me venting my anger at the driver was that the speed limit on an Australian highway is 100km/h and if I had been caught I would have received a significant fine, which at ZAR7 to AUS$1 would have hurt — a lot. The other South African driver, more than likely aware of the speed restrictions, continued to hurtle down the highway in excess of the 100km/h limit.

In the end I had to take a deep breath and try to let go. Part of the process of letting go was the realisation that South Africa is a better country without people like that here. People who continue to fly the old South African flag haven’t quite realised, or have realised but continue to live in denial, that that country is not coming back — ever. It is gone for good. And though South Africa has all its problems of crime and corruption, these are still better problems to have to deal with than trying to maintain a racially segregated society with all the oppression that went with it. The sad thing is that native Australians are being told by South Africans, such as the driver of that bakkie, about what an awful country South Africa is. The reality being that people such as that bakkie driver are trying to find a justification for their leaving South Africa. They can never come back. How come? Return would be an admission of defeat. So if things go pear-shaped in Australia they will be condemned to suffer in silence. Instead of emigrating for the right reasons (work or study opportunities, for example) these people will also forever be compelled to try recreate South Africa in Australia. They will always only ever associate with other South Africans who reinforce their worldview as they gather at a braai, rather than the barbie.

So good riddance to bad rubbish is what I guess I am trying to say and I hope the driver of that bakkie got a speeding fine too. And if you have a sticker of the old South African flag on the back of your car and someone, someday flips you the bird on the highway, it’s probably me.