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Kate’s pregnant again! But wait, why do we care?

The world is abuzz with the news that Kate is pregnant … again! Besides the fact that most women are already jealous of her post-pregnancy blowout, why do we care?

Like the five stages of grief, there is a protocol for receiving royal baby news (assuming you’re not a royalist):

* Anger — Why am I being subjected to this when there’s a whole list of more important things I still need to do or think about?
* Denial — I’m just not going to do it this time. I’m not! I won’t get sucked in and click on that headline that looks so inviting. Instead, I’ll read this piece about Zuma’s spy tapes.
* Bargaining — OK! If I do get to reading it, I’ll do so in a desultory fashion that reflects my ambivalence about the monarchy generally and the fetishisation of Prince George and his parents in particular.
* Depression — I read it. Enjoyed it. Rang a friend up to have a chat about it.
* Acceptance — I’m still not a royalist but I think the world could do with some good news right now. Why shouldn’t it come from the royal family? Isn’t that what British taxpayers pay them copious amounts of money each year to provide?

Getty Images
Getty Images

It’s a foetus frenzy that is unlikely to abate for the next few months. It may be antiquated, but let’s face it, what is the top priority of a royal wife? It’s the swift production of the “heir and the spare”. While it may sound quaint, that’s a necessity to secure the future of the monarchy. So of course it’s good news and of course one feels sorry for Kate, having to spill the beans within the first 12 weeks of her pregnancy. It’s also legitimately eye-rolling, the egg-timer precision of the second baby in relation to the first. Then again, if the royal family — whose only job is to be the royal family — can’t nail a perfect 10 on the space between siblings, they might just need to go back to finishing school.

Let’s also spare a thought for Prince Harry. The new baby will bump him down another spot in succession order, from fourth to fifth. However, I can’t help but wonder if it comes as an extra relief for a care-free Harry, or merely adds to the oddness of his indeterminate status. I just hope the unborn baby grows up to be as fun as him, or rather, the other “spare”.

And while we’re still expanding an empathetic range, poor North West’s (Kim Kardashian’s baby) days as the new hot kid on the block are officially numbered.

But let’s not cavil. Once you’ve stopped rolling your eyes, put the hater-ade down and worked all the negative emotions out of your system, rejoice! Honestly. At this point in world history, we should be grateful for small jollies wherever we can find them. So here’s to hearing much of how women with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) are prone to giving birth to daughters and are more likely to have multiple births. Speaking of multiple births, does Kourtney Kardashian also have HG?


  • Sefiso Hlongwane is an intuitive, tongue-in-cheek and inquisitive writer, merely combining a life-long interest, passion and extensive experience to squeeze himself into media spaces. While the objective is to remain in a creative, energetic and discerning environment, Sefiso wants to get skin deep into an atmosphere that is conducive to exploring, researching, reporting and articulating news and thought pieces (that will not only shape his passions but give perspective on worldly issues) in the best possible way utilising acquired creative writing skills.


  1. orwell orwell 10 September 2014

    A woman is pregnant. Every baby is a miracle. What’s not to love?

    But is it not strange that South Africans should swoon over the baby-making status of a super-privileged member of the British 1% elite?

    The British royals oversee a classist country that is far from democratic with its aristocratic “House of Lords” holding sway over the lower classes in the “House of Commons”.

    It would make more sense for South Africans to swoom over the Zulu Monarchy’s Royal babies, than to go gaga for babies born to the nation that gave us the colonial imperialist Cecil John Rhodes, invented the concentration camp (during the Boer War) and did its fair (racist) bit to keep apartheid going for so many years.

  2. orwell orwell 10 September 2014

    Why are South Africans obsessed with the American Barbie, Kim Kardashian?

    Why our sad obsession with extreme consumerism and loud-mouthed American-accented Hollywood celebs?

    Is it low self esteem that leads us South Africans to hang on to Hollywood exhibitionism?

    Does Kim know nothing of the real courage it takes to live in a leaking shack, on a dollar a day?

    Why aspire to white girls’ Kate and Kim’s golden baubles, media attention and glamour?

    These girls seem so out of touch with what’s going on in the wider world.

    Do Kate and Kim care or speak out that their respective countries send armed drones over foreign countries? Amnesty International has protested that American Predator drones have killed women (some of them pregnant) and children as collateral damage.

  3. Che Che 11 September 2014

    #orwell – before you write such comments, please brush up on your knowledge of the British – your House of Lords comment is quite ridiculous, I do not live here under a Royal ‘dictatorship’, England does actually fulfill democratic definitions. Also, the British did not invent the concentration camp (research Namibia’s German presence pre-Boer war) and the English did not send Cecil forth to colonise Africa – he did that of his own accord for his own personal interests, hence why what is now Zimbabwe wasn’t a colony in the true sense of the word, like South Africa was.

  4. Roy Low Roy Low 12 September 2014

    Do have a look at the remaining Monarchies in Europe – the country’s all run sensibly, and there is a National Pride, which just does not exist here.

  5. Momma Cyndi Momma Cyndi 12 September 2014

    Blame Walt Disney. Every girl wants to be Cinderella and every boy wants to be Prince Charming.

  6. Momma Cyndi Momma Cyndi 12 September 2014

    Whilst the Zulu king may have local clout, the British monarchy is nothing but a figurehead and the Kardasians probably couldn’t find their own country on a map if you pointed it out. They have less power over their respective governments than you do.

  7. Nguni Nguni 13 September 2014

    you’re wrong regarding the concentration camps, Kitchner was indeed the first to start with them in the 2nd Boer war so they are a british invention. But it was a close call, the germans started using them in 1904, and ‘perfected’ them by the 1940s..

  8. Interesting Interesting 18 September 2014

    Irrespective of the hype and whether one is a royalist or not, somehow those little babies remind us of the goodness in life and of the purity of innocence. In a crappy world, that brings a fleeting moment of pleasure. So, while i’m no royal It gives me pleasure to see a healthy young couple, in love and having a family. Can’t say the same about the self obsessed Kardashians. You can’t buy class (and by that I mean a certain level of dingity and conduct that engenders genuine respect from everyone).

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