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State of the Nation Haiku

National Assembly
An expanse of cleavage
Crowned by botox

Burnooses in the rain
How ridiculous

Sarel Cilliers
Recited by Mattera
Boers applaud uneasily

Awaiting the chief
The opposition
Sits leaderless

Amidst the poetry
A cacophony of crassness
From the media benches

Heckles for Helen
But a standing ovation
For the Judiciary

All rise for Madiba
Chanting and ululating
False alarm

Lindiwe looks gorgeous
Has she had work done?
Who cares!

My companion
Speaks of unrequited love
While Mbongis gather

Are the first wives present?
Said scathingly
She’s just jealous

Kgalema enters
Been there, done that
Where’s my tee shirt?

Madiba sits demurely
He needs no spotlight
Graça is resplendent

Msholozi is gracious
Tribute to past leaders
Is T’boz listening?

We will procure locally!
China chuckles

Chortles at Zuma’s taal
Really Marthinus?
Let’s hear your isiZulu

Message to pupils
Complete High School!
(No sign of Julius)

No paedophilia for principals?
Expect CCMA claims
Over loss of benefits

Border patrols
To guard the Limpopo
Hope they can swim

“Support Zimbabwe
“Until free and fair elections”
(A Freudian slip)

The assembly rises
Journalists remain seated
Cynical rude bastards

Kanthan was in Parliament for Jacob Zuma’s State of the Nation address. He remains optimistic.