Gold teeth and yellow walls

A friend of mine (who is getting increasingly cantankerous with his advancing age) recently managed to turn a beer-nursing afternoon, while watching nubile young ones go by, turn into a dark day of discontent. The cause of all this? A wall painted in a colour he deemed unpleasant. True story. I must also add that this fit happened while he was in what would otherwise be a setting of contentment for him. That is, nursing a cold one (or six) at a relaxed downtown BEE hangout spot, watching the hustle and bustle of Africa’s biggest metropolis carry on in that unique focused frenzy JHB has perfected. Yes, the wall was but part of a larger vista, he certainly had plenty to look at besides it. Yet he didn’t.

Someone deciding to paint their wall their preferred colour was enough to set him off and be the focal point of an afternoon that should have been dedicated to rehydrating. I’d love to judge him, but I also have my own irrational sensitive spots. Like gold teeth. I can never see past them. A person could be charming, engaging, insightful witty etc but the moment I see a glint in their mouth as opposed to their eye, that’s it. I switch off and my intolerant, super-judgemental alter-ego rides forth on that mighty steed called judgement.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for putting your money where your mouth is but, and kudos to you for supporting the industry this country was built on, just please don’t flash it in my face with every word that spews forth. My idea of hell is meeting the woman who meets all my criteria (has a detectable pulse, cooks and cleans, semi-functional brain — in that order) only to find the set of King Solomon’s mines inside her mouth. It would add a new dimension to kissing during thunderstorms though.

My friend and I are not the only ones too. We all have little pet hates that always get the better of us and trigger some sort of disproportionate reaction. The average motorist and taxis (think about it, how many times have you been pissed off by a taxi merely overtaking you. Even if it does so safely, legally and doesn’t affect your driving speed/direction etc) Steve Hofmyer and contraception, the JMPD and reason, the sight of Julius Malema near a microphone. I think such are the brains inherent “logic override” a sort of pressure release from excessive decorum and sanity.

In the same way that humour, lust and greed keep us human and keep our lives interesting (admittedly on a much greater scale, especially the lust) except this happens on a small everyday scale to keep us “going”. And much as we’d like to think otherwise, that tiny level of negative irrationality is a key part of a happy day. It makes one pro-active about seeking that joy/laugh/pleasure that makes your day. The two go together like tenders and close relatives.

So don’t be ashamed of your little personal quirk. Embrace it; it does you more good than you’ll ever know.