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Gang rape, jackrolling, lepanta: a societal problem

I grew up in a village outside Polokwane in Limpopo. At school and in the community we would always hear older boys talking about lepanta. As a young boy, I knew lepanta to be a Sotho word for “belt”. I soon learnt that it was coined by boys in the street corners to mean “when two or more boys have sex with one girl at the same time”.

These older boys would say with pride: “Ka weekend re bethile ngwana o mongwe lepanta.” (Over the weekend we took turns having sex with a certain girl.)

Whether the girl agreed or not we didn’t know. But it was the way these boys would proudly say it that, as a young boy, made me and other younger boys aspire to engage in lepanta.

It sounded like a cool thing to do. So cool that some of the older boys would ask each other after every weekend if they scored a lepanta session or if they just had “boring sessions” with their steady girlfriends. And it created such pressure on some of these boys that when they were asked, they would lie just to fit in.

At the time, I thought it was a cool thing to do. It was fashionable, and I wanted to fit in. I started wondering about how to engage in lepanta. Do I get a girl and then tell her that my friends and I would like to have lepanta with her? Do I recruit my classmates to go look for a beautiful girl (or any other girl even if she is not attractive), and ask to have lepanta with her? Or do I actually force a girl on her way from school, lock her in my mother’s house and call my friends…?

As it happened, I never asked anyone how it was done. I chose not to ask, because I didn’t want to be seen as stupid. And no, I have never engaged in lepanta. I was toying with the idea because the peer pressure was mounting to give it a go. But before I could, I was already starting to mature and differentiate between right and wrong.

I realised as I was growing up that most of these mapanta happened after drinking sessions in the tavern. A boy would talk to a girl, propose to go home with her that evening, and buy her lots of beer until she was drunk. Then he would take her home and call his friends from the tavern to take turns sleeping with her. That’s how some of my school mates told me it was done. The girl may or may not know that she actually slept with the whole village’s soccer team. And in those days, girls, even if they knew, didn’t have much say.

For her to go back home and report it was a no-no. Her family wouldn’t believe her. And why was she at a tavern in a first place, and not at home? It was also about a taboo issue and the fear of stigma: what would the community say? Police stations were far away from the village for girls to go report their ordeal. Most of these incidents would pass, and simply disappear.

And what did the community say about this culture of lepanta? Nothing. As I grew wiser, I realised how wrong that was. Did others in the community feel similarly? I doubt it.

I recalled my childhood last week as I tried so hard to comprehend what went wrong in the minds of the seven teenagers arrested in Soweto for gang raping a 17-year-old mentally unstable girl. I remembered I was once their age, and tried to figure out what could have triggered them to commit such a heinous deed.

Looking for answers, I ended up laying the blame squarely on the communities we are raised in, in general, and the parents in particular. The communities we are raised in are brutal and okay even the most shocking adolescent behavior, including lepanta. We shouldn’t be fooled into thinking that lepanta is new. It’s been going on for ages and it’s called many things by different people.

In a report by the Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation (CSVR), researchers talk about this behavior being made “famous” in the 1980s by a gang in Diepkloof, Soweto who used to call themselves jackrollers. This subsequently led to the practice being referred to as “jackrolling” in black townships and involved the forceful abduction and rape of women.

To quote from the report: “There are a number of aspects which make jackrolling different from ordinary rape. Firstly, it is primarily a youth phenomenon. Although rape is committed by males of all ages, jackrolling is committed by people who are still fairly young. Secondly, it is almost always committed in the open, and the rapists do not make attempts to conceal their identity. As a matter of fact, it seems that part of the exercise is to be as public as possible about the offence so as to earn respect. Most incidents of jackroll are committed in places like shebeens (informal township bars), picnic spots, schools, nightclubs and in the streets.”

When I was growing up, the jackrollers wanted their acts to be seen by as many people as possible because, unlike the youth of today, they didn’t have cellphones. The gang rape in Soweto was recorded on a mobile phone, as were many others in recent times, presumably for the members of the group to be able to distribute their “heroic” acts to their peers so that they can earn some respect. The 17-year-old girl’s ordeal couldn’t have been reported had it not been recorded on a phone. But how many other such incidents go unreported?

It’s been suggested that parents, including those of the Soweto boys, could have known about these problems. They could’ve observed events happening around them. They could have picked up on behavioral changes in these boys, but decided to ignore them or just let it pass as part of adolescence. I don’t buy that most of them are now “shocked” that their sons have committed rape.

“He’s not bad. He can’t have done this. This is not my boy. There has been a mistake. He can’t be this monster people say he is. I know that he is not evil,” the grandmother of one of the Soweto boys was quoted by newspapers as saying.

I agree with Pretoria University criminologist Christiaan Bezuidenhout’s comments in the Times that parents grapple to understand adolescent identity and behaviour.

“What parents forget is that children become adolescents, with one of the key elements of this phase being experimentation and the testing of boundaries and the consequences of their actions. Along with this, every person has two identities: one of which is your personal identity, which you show your parents and your teachers; the other is your social identity, which comes out when you are with friends. Combine these elements with the group psyche, a strong leader and a vulnerable victim, and you have the perfect recipe for deviant behavior. It doesn’t matter if the victim is mentally disabled. In fact, this makes her an even more attractive target.”

This may sound crazy but the problem is widespread. The Medical Research Council (MRC) says 7% of men in Gauteng have been involved in gang rapes. And in Gauteng, Kwa-Zulu Natal and the Eastern Cape, one in ten men have “jackrolled” or engaged in lepanta. Most of them have never faced justice.

And so the vicious cycle continues.

“What is happening is a frightening and very common problem, which is increasing as older youths teach and show younger ones how to carry out these horrendous acts,” said the MRC’s Professor Rachel Jewkes.

The scary part is that this is not only a South African phenomenon. In the US, one in four rapes is regarded as gang rape committed mostly by young adults with the average age of 23, and it happens mostly in schools and tertiary institutes.

The horrific ordeal of a 17-year-old girl has opened our eyes about this widespread practice and is a chance for us, as a society, to reflect. It has presented an opportunity to reassess our role as a community, and as parents.

Gauteng Community Safety MEC Faith Mazibuko told parents not to relegate their parental responsibility to government and teachers. But it’s also about time that government change how they deal with the issue of rape in general. It’s no longer just about sex education (which is lacking anyway). The Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities should join hands with activists and law enforcers. She should perhaps form a unit to deal with rape, and take campaigns to schools (as is done in the UK) to teach young kids, especially boys, about the dangers of engaging in rape and gang rape.

In South Africa we can no longer wait for yet another sex video before we express anger. The police have arrested only seven teenagers in Soweto but there are many other young kids across the country who think lepanta is fashionable. It could be your son, or my brother or your daughter.

Author

  • Isaac Mangena is a Chapter Nine Communicator slash activist. He has spent much of the past ten years of his life in a newsroom. He is a former TV and Newspaper journalist who focuses on African and international news. He previously worked for Media24 and Agence France-Presse. Isaac holds a BA Psychology degree from the University of the North (now Limpopo). He reads, writes and critique – a lot.

52 Comments

  1. Yaj Yaj 25 April 2012

    Disturbing to say the least.Mindbogglingly horrific..

  2. Geoff Smart Geoff Smart 25 April 2012

    I hate what the article is talking about. I love the article for giving me an insight into township/rural life that I so need as a white urbanite. Also we need input like this to enable us to have sensible conversations around any issue of sexuality.
    Thank you, Isaac.

  3. Rory Quinn Rory Quinn 25 April 2012

    “The Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities should…take campaigns to schools (as is done in the UK) to teach young kids, especially boys, about the dangers of engaging in rape and gang rape.”

    The dangers for the perpetrators? My God, is that the best we can do – instill fear of STDs in boys whose ambition is ‘lepanta’? The dangers to the girl are 1000 times greater! The lepanta victims are the ones in danger and STDs are only the beginning. What about permanent damage to the uterus and unwanted pregnancy, not to mention the emotional agony that follows such violation. VIOLATION. Rape is not sex! It is an assualt on every aspect the victim’s being. Everything. Rape victims feel that their right to exist has been taken away. Their bodies are not theirs. You never ‘recover’ from rape any more than you do from a quadruple amputation

    Rapists cannot imagine themselves as the victims of gang rape but they might be able to imagine themselves minus their genitals and all four limbs. Rape, like murder, is the assassination of an entire person. All the wonderful work being done to turn ‘rape victims into rape survivors’ does not erase the effects of rape. The best such treatment can do is to provide coping mechanisms so that the rape victim does not resort to suicide. No matter how well they may recover, any rape victim will tell you that something in them died as a result of rape. Life thereafter is never the same as it was before the rape.

  4. Amelia Amelia 25 April 2012

    Thank you for your candid article, Isaac. It was definitely an eye-opener and will hopefully pave the way for honest and open discussions around these issues.

  5. Stephen Stephen 25 April 2012

    Good grief, but an excellent article. Exposing this is one way of creating the awarness to help put an end to this.

  6. MKT MKT 25 April 2012

    ‘lepanta’ was a popular practice at gaMothiba, your home place yes.

    and you are right, that is where the culture of gang rape is inculcated..

  7. Jean Young Jean Young 25 April 2012

    Rape is long-term murder which should be treated as such and punished accordingly.

  8. Sterling Ferguson Sterling Ferguson 25 April 2012

    @Issac, great article where have you been?

  9. moi moi 25 April 2012

    One of the best columns yet in thought leader. Thank you, Isaac. At least we can start talking and thinking about this horror, fuelled with real information, however horrifying.

  10. Fiona Fiona 25 April 2012

    Fascinating and haunting article. I did not realise this was a common phenomenon. I have certainly learnt a lot. And not to detract from the horrors experienced by the victims of ‘lepanta’, but the very fact that we have Minister for Women, Children and People with Disabilities seems to encapsulate the level of empathy and sensitivity of our society in that we don’t appear to have a Minister for Men? It’s quite archaic really…quite disrespectful, and frankly perpetuates the separation of all individuals. Just to realise the humanness of us all, perhaps there can be a Minister for the People who will emulate empathy, kindness and general humanity to all individuals. And hopefully offer a role model to these youth who are misguided.

  11. Peter Win Peter Win 25 April 2012

    An excellent, incisive piece of literature.

    Thank you for the insights !

    As someone outside this culture, I wonder how kids get money for the shebeen – and why the local society does not band together to hit this issue ?

    And the other area is education. Again, is this a culturally-embedded activity ? Would the elders speak up against it ? Or would they say this is part of growing up to be a man ? Is there an opportunity to call together the elders to discuss ?

  12. Bernice Janse van Rensburg Bernice Janse van Rensburg 25 April 2012

    This is an a absolute horrendous crime and I want to congratulate you on this article to make people aware of what is happening and what is behind it all.

  13. Sue Sue 26 April 2012

    Very brave to write about this – well done Isaac.
    Horrifyingly real, and once again, education and open discussion, within caring communities and families, is the only way to eradicate this horror. Rape does not equate to manhood. Ever. It equates to disrespect for the self and particularly for women.

  14. Solitoliquido Solitoliquido 26 April 2012

    Welldone indeed, Isaac!

    This is very well and candidly told. I grew up in Diepkloof in the 80s and I remember the fear that was grown by the jackrolling phenomenon in the community. What you do not mention in your article is that, in order to prove their might, jackrollers liked to forcefully take a girl in the presence of her boyfriend and go to rape her, thus humiliating the boyfriend! The biggest fear that many young men had at the time was the chance of having their girlfriends taken in this way while they were out on a stroll in a public place.

    I’m not sure, however, in fact I doubt, that many parents might know that their sons do this and that they are, in some way, complicit.

    One thing for sure: if this behaviour is still as widespread as it is reported to be, something serious must be done. Interventons have to happen upstream (education, societal values and parenting) and downstream (prevention and harsh punishment by the law).

    Again, well done Isaac!

  15. Lesego Lesego 26 April 2012

    Geoff Smart #

    “I hate what the article is talking about. I love the article for giving me an insight into township/rural life that I so need as a white urbanite.”

    I as a township guy have never got exposed to Gangbanging until I got exposed to that genre on pornographic websites, of which its being practiced mostly by American Urbanites. Google “Gangbang”.

  16. Pieter Pretorius Pieter Pretorius 26 April 2012

    Isaac thank you very much for your courage to bring these atrocities to light. Do the Forefathers not oppose this kind of behaviour? Or do the young generation have no regard for the forefathers and therefore no regard for other people as well?
    Today it’s politically correct to be humanistic, but I am still convinced that we need a higher power outside ourselves to instill proper values in us. Not only the fear of punishment, but espescially the motivation of a loving God. When I am so enthralled by God’s love, I will do anything not to disappoint him. Many times I have asked the question if this is not the problem with all the violence and crime we see around us, namely people have turned their back on God and no longer experiencially know his love.

  17. Theunis Pienaar Theunis Pienaar 26 April 2012

    Thank you, Isaac, for this very honest & very well written response to immense brokenness in our world. You made me think about where I live, about attitudes & I’m wondering if the same is norm in this world.

  18. MLH MLH 26 April 2012

    Such an admirable post when my ‘community’ is so often blind-sided by remarks of ‘its our culture’ which never explain further. The first assessment needed, I suppose, is whether township communities approve or disapprove of it. Do the parents disapprove enough to want to do something about it or is it accepted as a tradition?
    I recoil in horror at the very thought of it and I see those making comments feel similarly; historically, it’s just not in our ‘culture’ to view this king of behaviour as anything less than shocking. But then, most of us regard polygamy exactly the same way…
    Too many people in SA are caught between the devil and the depp blue sea…all of us!

  19. nvt nvt 26 April 2012

    As a young woman at varsity (Wits University) in the 80s, I saw some incidents of gang-rape. At the time, women were just gaining independence and we could go drinking at shebeens and nightclubs. During that era, gang rape victims were almost always girls who were heavy drinkers. Most were never reported as the victim was “blamed” by both girls and boys.

    I know I’m gonna offend many people, but I believe that incidents of gang rape have become widespread as girls (even as young as 13), are going out, drinking and losing control. My friends and I stopped going to nightclubs when we had a lucky escape around 1992. We couldn’t get into a club and then accepted a party invitation from 3 men we had never met, simply because we were bored, but when we arrived at the venue – there were about 20 guys at that house and no girls. Quick thinking and fast legs got us out of that mess but it taught us a lesson.

    I think young women need to be empowered to make better choices that can lower the risks. They need to properly assess risks before getting into any situation.

  20. Graham Johnson Graham Johnson 26 April 2012

    A disturbing view into another ‘culture’.

    Is it that culture or the western culture that is the most evil?

    I keep forgetting.

  21. Isaac Isaac 26 April 2012

    Thanks for your kind words.

    To answer Pieter Pretorius and Peter Win, elders would in most cases do nothing than to “gang-rape” the poor girl victim again.

    Remember, in villages a form of justice system that we had was known as “kgoro” (kangaroo courts) where ONLY MEN would sit. A girl child would on her own not be allowed to come and report there, but she can to her parents who should then report it to this “court”. Now you have this girl, who left home at night without permission, expected to face her father to say “while you were asleep, i jumped out the window and went to a tavern, had few drinks after which i left with boys who had promised to accompany me home, but then gang-raped me”. Unlikely that it would happen. The father would beat her before she can even explain her ordeal. And for the father to take it up to that “court”, what would her friends and neghbours say about HIM (it’s no longer about the victim at this stage, but his good name). Then lets say it ends at that “court” and the lady is called to “testify”. She would be grilled by old men who regard this victim as disrespectful to even start talking about this; she wud be told how much of a slut she is, that she wouldnt amount to being a wife to their sons, etc – hence why i said “raped” the second time.

    Its very sad and complicated and i think if we are to resolve it, these village people, township communities, law enforces, teachers should be brought to the table and be honest…

  22. mj mj 26 April 2012

    Lepanta is not the only societial problem inherited

  23. Kgageng Kgageng 26 April 2012

    yah neh we had this talk with my friends last-night and we all talked about “lepanta” as it is widely known in my village where i grew up, i believe that it is still “practiced” i use the word practice because we grew to know it as if it is the stage that one have to go through..

  24. Tokologo Tokologo 26 April 2012

    Wow!

    Very eye-opening indeed. I can feel the anger in you. Not so long ago my mom and i were having the “honey and bees” chat with my 13-years-young lil sister as i felt it’s not fair to only leave it to the teachers @ schools.

    So now whenever i’m home i consider it my duty to protect her every move since this other guy older had the guts approach me about about how he likes my lil sister’s walk and how friendlier than me she is. I was so not comfortable with that, i then told my older brother who obviously would not wait to confront the guy and draw lines. Whenever i hear of such matters i think about her safety first.

    I also need to feel safe in my community, be without worries of what might happen. It is very unaltruistic of these criminals to take away our Tokologo.

    I’m hoping your article touches even those who are fighting the devil in them, stops them! We need a lot of maturity.

    Be Blessed.

    This comment has been edited.

  25. Nkele Nkele 26 April 2012

    I was raised in a township outside Polokwane, an i too hav heard of this practice of “lepanta”. As you mention, it is something that the young boys brag about al in very bad taste. It’s a shame that society has degenerated to such a point that people can no longe tell wrong from right. It’s a shame to see some of the activities our young nation indulges in, the inability to think long-term and the destructtive need to fit in badly.
    The fact that this practice has been going on for years is testament that we as a community are failing each other. Parents would rather succumb to their pride than report such atrocious behaviour.
    I understand the whole maternal thing, but The very fact that the Grandma of one of the perpetrators would say he wouldnt do such a thing even though it as clear from the video that he was there belittles what this young lady experienced. How do the kids learn how to act if the elders themselves do not acknowledge when a child has done wrong and reprimand them as such?
    @nvt i get your point but unfortunately i disagree with it. Yes kids go out, go to the tavern and get drunk, and that is also something that needs to be addressed urgently, but that does not warrant them getting violated. you could be walking from school and get raped, look at the issue of the 8 year old girl who was recently raped by a 15 year old. yes chances are increased when you’re drunk, but lets focus on the disease, not the symptom…

  26. Sterling Ferguson Sterling Ferguson 26 April 2012

    @Lesego, stop trying to blame others for your country short coming and think about what can be done to stop gang rape. Your president has been accused of raping a retarded girl and he was bragging about having unprotected sex with this lady. Most Africans are talking about the high incidents of rape in SA and the government of Africans countries have issued warning to their citizens traveling to SA.

  27. Alan Wilson Alan Wilson 26 April 2012

    Would be good to hear the ANC’s take on this ! People in the townships are scared to report rapes by policeman in their communities because they will be targeted. When the perpetrators of lepanta and jackrolling have daughters of their own what will be their attitude if the same happens to their daughters?

  28. jesus jesus 26 April 2012

    No matter how hard south africans “try” to be developing..they go five steps backwards by what is finally exposed .

    First it was baby rape,rape of grannies,then to lepanta…today it’s
    schoolchildren 7y and 9y (brother and sister) raped
    by a schoolteacher.

    What else is there happening to SA society which has not yet been exposed
    (confronted) that is going to ” shock us” next.

  29. La Quebecoise La Quebecoise 27 April 2012

    Thank you so much for this excellent, articulate and thoughtfully presented article. With sadness, of course, it is going on all over the world. We must take back our societies.

  30. MauMau MauMau 27 April 2012

    Thats why I left SA. South Africans needed theraphy after 1994…what they got instead was affirmative action….and things are bound to get worse….watch…

  31. Lyndall Beddy Lyndall Beddy 27 April 2012

    Gang rape is typical all over the world of a youth with nothing to do displaying macho traits with no outlet for their energies – no sports, no hobbies, no jobs, no hope. Rape is about power not sex, as any psychiatrist can tell you. Sex is even about power in animals – read “The Territorial Imperative”.

    But the type of male gangs that form depend on environment and culture. Did you live in a village or a city township when you saw this behaviour in your own community? Rural and City gangs tend to differ everywhere in the world.

  32. John Patson John Patson 27 April 2012

    If you read the work of early South African anthropologists, there are links between recent events and traditional “courtship” procedures where the groom’s friends “kidnap” the bride and take her to his kraal before the wedding.
    The interpretation was that it was a way of proving the bride’s fertility.
    Hanging on to a mishmash of corrupt tribal cultures in the modern world results in what was unjust then, becoming more so now.

  33. Oldfox Oldfox 27 April 2012

    @Lesego

    The topic is gang rape, not gangbang. Big difference.

  34. Rene Maia Rene Maia 27 April 2012

    I think we have to get to the bottom of why this happens. Why do the youth of today have to prove themselves. Why is their self esteem so low that they have to stoop so low. We also have to educate the communities to show that ignoring something does not necessarily make it go away or make it ok.

  35. TSOHO TSOHO 27 April 2012

    Spot on, what happenned there is quite common in many places across the country. In Taung area is called “TRY”. The origin of the name is linked to dice game game wherby if one has lost all his money in the game is brought back to the game through the system called try.

  36. MLH MLH 27 April 2012

    I do like nvt’s comment; what price Slutwalk and all it stands for? Girls need to learn to look after themselves, no one else will do it for them. Simply because those who love us the most will not always be available.

  37. Nidhi Chaitow Nidhi Chaitow 27 April 2012

    This is such an informative article – thank you for sharing your experience. We have so many challenges with our youth and its time we start to set an example as adults and become the right role models instilling values in the way we live and in turn byn showing them another way – its sad but true – thank you once again.

  38. Oldfox Oldfox 27 April 2012

    Japan had a gang rape case that shocked the nation. It was about a gang rape club that operated for years.

    “The members of the Super Free Club, originally a fraternity social society, were blue bloods attending prestigious universities, whose graduates include Emperor Akihito and Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.”
    source: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/11/03/1099362217587.html?from=storylhs

  39. Gideon Gideon 27 April 2012

    Good article with lots of insight. You only spoilt it when you started to comment. Your disrespectful attitude towards african justice system is unwarranted. This justice system is provided for in the Constitution.

  40. Oldfox Oldfox 28 April 2012

    @Gideon,

    In general, it is impossible for females to get fair treatment in cases of rape, sexual molestation and sexual harassment in a court where ONLY MALES preside.

    It does not matter where in the world it happens, whether enshrined in a constitution or not, whether in the West or non Western countries.

  41. Lyndall Beddy Lyndall Beddy 28 April 2012

    Oldfox

    Boys form gangs – they are herd animals. They form gangs when men as well – but they call them teams, or clubs, or political parties, or names like Freemasons or Rotary etc etc.

    Men love to clun together with other men and leave the women out of the gang. Migrant labour did not only suit black men – white men go for it as well – for a break with the guys.

    Do you think the navy or army take their wives and kids with them?

    The men that go onto the oil rigs do so for 6-9 month stretches no different to the migrant labour on the mines.

    I have always wanted to be married to a Navy man, and was fed up that my husband had left the Navy, which would have suited him, and me, perfectly.

    As far as I am concerned women can do with a break from the men as well – plus every return is a honeymoon!

    This need to be part of a herd in young boys has to be channellled into the right kind of “gang”.

  42. Oldfox Oldfox 28 April 2012

    @nvt, MLH
    agreed, girls and young women need to be aware of the dangers of getting drunk from alcohol which they have voluntarily imbibed.

    But what about girls and women who get drugs, such as ‘date rape’ drugs slipped into their drinks ( even non alcoholic cold drinks ). I know a young woman who took her own juice bottle to clubs, and kept it with her while dancing.
    Is this what it takes for young women to avoid being raped? Is the law not too soft and accommodating towards males who rape?

  43. *Africanqueen* *Africanqueen* 28 April 2012

    Thank you very much for discussing this topic, its something that is very close to my heart as I am a rape crisis councilor. I think that this issue has a lot to do with the environment that one grows up in.
    I’m a black south african woman and I did not grow up in the townships. Instead I grew up in very diverse community, with many different races and nationalites, and its one of the reasons why I know how to speak many different languages, being xhosa, zulu, czech, spanish french, english, italian, hausa(nigerian language), lingala( congolese), afrikaans, german,shona and sotho, and there are many more that I understand. In the community that I grew up in, everyone looked after each other and as kids, if you did something wrong you were punished by anyone, regardless of whether they were your parents or not. We were taught to respect each other and our elders.
    My boyfriend on the other hand grew up in the townships in east london and was raised by a single mother and his sister. I recently showed him this article and he told me about how it was also a common thing in his community.
    He is xhosa and told me that he too had pressure to sleep with as many girls at one time as that was what made you a man. He told me that one became a man by being initiated and that for those that had not been initiated the way to prove your manliness was to sleep with as many girls as possible and that those that had been initiated were told that they had to also had to sleep with many…

  44. *Africanqueen* *Africanqueen* 28 April 2012

    those that had been initiated were told that they had to also had to sleep with many girls in order not to lose their manliness. He told me of one friend who after coming back from initiation school had some sort of session where he and a another friend took turns sleeping with some girls. My boyfriend told me that he never took part in such things because he knew that it was wrong and if was not sure if the girls were raped or if they willingly took part.
    The point that i’m trying to make is that for someone who was raised without a make rolemodel in his life, he grew up to be a better man because of the strong values that he was taught by the females in his life, not every child has that and they are therefore influenced by other factors. Children need strong role models to teach them good values and this comes in the form of parents, teachers, elders and the community.
    I often counsel about 9 rape survivors a week and there is a recurring pattern that shows that if one has more support from their community they survive the trauma better than those that dont. So educating communities about what is wrong with this type of behaviour will go a long way to solving this problem. But education can only do so much, and sometimes certain individuals feel that they are entitled to get what they want. A case in point has to do with a varsity going former friend of mine who raped one of his best friends who was his flatmate and a friend of mine.

  45. Oldfox Oldfox 28 April 2012

    @Africanqueen,

    You mention a number of points which, while generally known – such as the need for good role models – are worth repeating. Boys especially need good role models.

    I think a big problem, is that males are very sure that they will get away with rape, that girls will be to scared (if very young) or embarrassed to report the rape, or that police and magistrates/judges will be unsympathetic towards a rape victim and so on. In cases of incest rape, the rapist of often convinced that the mother will never believe the daughter ( which makes me wonder how the male brain evolved such that many men know this instinctively). In some countries the problem is much worse than in others. In many Muslim countries, a woman’s evidence counts half of a man’s. In Japan, some judges have ruled that an aroused man is unable to control himself. For thousands of years, soldiers have raped during wartime knowing there will be no negative consequences for them. In the Kama Sutra, written over a thousand years ago, it is stated that if a woman will not voluntarily give herself to a man, he is entitled to drug her and enjoy her while to is drugged and thus unable to resist. So this sense of male entitlement has been around for very long, maybe millennia.

    Without a large scale, high profile campaign to educate society and males in particular about the evils of rape, I don’t believe that we will make more than a small dent in the rape of girls and women by males.

  46. SOS SOS 29 April 2012

    People have low self esteem because they are not chaste. Girls are not chaste and have low self esteem (and vice versa), and boys sense this and so disrespect them.

    They sense a girl “wants it” and are challenged by this, because, if a girls wants it then “why should I be chaste? ” A small percentage will violently act this out. In all societies where women ( and therefore boy’s mothers and sisters) are not respected, and where women don’t repect themselves, men become violent.

    It’s fashion to deny it but there is an onus on the female sex to set the limits for men by how they behave, dress, and present themselves. Even bad men will respect and often leave alone a woman who is clearly self respecting.

    The solution is self respect through chastity.

  47. Sterling Ferguson Sterling Ferguson 29 April 2012

    @Africanqueen, what Issac forgot to mention that most rape victims don’t survive and they are killed by their rapist. In the US Ted Bundy a confessed serial rapist and murder, confessed to raping and killing more then one hundred women. He claims that he started killing these people at the age of thirteen years of age. In the case of the Green river killer, he has confessed to killing more then a hundred hookers. The strange thing about the Green river killer he would continued to have sex with his victims after killing them for days. In SA two and three years old are raped and this is a sick crime. Rape is a mental disorder and it’s not a joke like many people think it is.

  48. DrLiezille DrLiezille 30 April 2012

    Isaac, I want to do something to help these boys and girls. Do you know if lepanta is still a common practice where you grew up?

  49. Isaac Isaac 1 May 2012

    @DrLiezille, yes it is i think, cause nothing has changed. And am sure if you can go to school and speak to boys from 13yrs upwards, they will tell you stories. Or just walk into local tarverns where you’ll find lot of boys and little girls, and ask them in confidence, they will tell you. Or just asking to check videos on each and every fone in their pockets, you’ll be shocked. Thats why i believe parents maybe aware of this, but chosing to keep quiet.(im on [email protected])
    @Africanqueen, you are hundred percent correct, and @Oldfox, i cant agree more. It seems like most boys dont have role models anymore, or good rolemodels for that matter. They are shaped by the streets they grow in and thats why even some of the shocking behaviours are deemed acceptable
    @Sterling Ferguson, you are quiet right, most get killed after their ordeals.

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