Free booze in China and so forth

It can be a laugh a minute living in this country. Oh I am sure the PCs and semi-literates will find my sense of humour (heck I don’t make it up, it is in your face and waiting to be photographed or copied) completely inappropriate. I am glad. Funny is funny. To hell with appropriateness. Here goes.

With the swine flu outbreak one of the private teaching companies I freelance at made the following promises and requests, which they printed on posters and stuck them up everywhere. Dear reader, I refer you to point two in this photo which I assume would have The Sumo and Ndumiso Ngcobo considering moving to Shanghai:

And that’s not all folks.

Not so long ago I just had to take the following photograph of a dry-cleaning service called “Sophisticated Cleaners” on Kangding Road near where I live. Don’t you just love the visual oxymoron?

Why do you own washing when your personal laundry can be advertised on a public street?

And in closing, I have had to sign some of the most hilarious work contracts. The woman who wrote this one, who heads up a small work agency, was made — I shit you not — Professor of English of a local university shortly after writing this addendum (which she calls an index). The wording made me think some of the disciplinary measures might include corporal punishment (on my word of honour I have NOT tinkered with the words, including “crash”):

Index

1. Party B understands that his professional teaching and attitude are essential to Party A, therefore, he is expected to offer professional services. In case any of the following situations takes place, Party B is expected to take some reponsibilities for it either in the form of fine or in some other method.

1. 1. Party B fails to be in class on time once and Party B cannot provide an acceptable reason.
  2. Party B fails to communicate with the clients reasonably, which causes violent crashes with the clients.
  3. Party B fails to attend the activities relevant to teaching held by Party A or the client once and Party B fails to provide good reasons.
  4. Party B is found to treat his teaching in a very unprofessional way, which causes the client to complain of more than twice.
  5. Party B fails to grade the students in a professional way, which causes strong complaints from the clients.
  6. Party B is complained by the clients about his unprofessional talks in the classes twice.