Christmas traps us. It holds us tightly between layers of expensive non-recyclable wrapping paper smothering our creativity, freedom and genuine feelings. The Christmas season seems to bring our lack of freedom sharply into focus. We are tied by cute ribbons and tassels to the consumerist lifestyle, buying up the shops and making sure that we are left guilt-free, because we got absolutely every person we know a little something. But why? Why do we feel no need to purchase gifts for these same people (especially work colleagues and distant relatives) all year round? The truth is, we’re not really very giving.

Those of us who are agnostic, atheist or non-Christian are not really celebrating anything monumentally special. Technically it’s just another day on the long calendar that is our work-driven life and so most of us just celebrate the fact that it’s a public holiday. So why the Christmas gifts? Guilt.

We feel endlessly guilty when someone has bought something for us, even if we know they’re only doing it because of their own guilt. But this guilt is insidious. Everyone slowly starts to look around at the tiny gift they’ve been given and starts thinking “crap, I haven’t bought anyone anything, and bugger it, I hadn’t even thought about buying anything until now”. The worst thing is that if you don’t return the favour you look like the cold present-taking cretin that we all really are deep down inside. The guilt makes us buy and spend on many people that we little more than barely like.

So how do we stop the guilt? Stop shopping for one. The less time you spend in shopping malls, the less time you have to spend your time looking at the panicked faces of other shoppers who are worried that they haven’t got the perfect gift. The pushing and the shoving and the rifling through goodies with increased prices is most certainly a cause of early death by stress-related causes. So stop going to the shops. If you still feel the guilt, then head to local markets. Pick up original items that people don’t have, weren’t made in China and will serve a purpose. In the sentiments of David Smith, there is nothing worse than a gift without a purpose. Even more creative, bake your mostly disliked acquaintances tasty biscuits so that when they think scornfully on your shallow friendship in the future, they have to say, “But damn, she makes a good cookie”.

Another tip, is to give more presents during the year. Be someone who picks up little gifts for people you genuinely like all the time. That way, you can get away with getting a similarly tiny and inexpensive gift at Christmas time, because it is just another day to give. Expectations and stress are lessened and you can have a very cheap festive season and spend more money on your own drinks and travels. You will be a genuinely merrier and nicer person to have around, and this will make you the type of person that people genuinely want to buy gifts for.

Author

  • Jennifer is a feminist, activist and advocate for women's rights. She has a Masters in Politics from Rhodes University, and a Masters in Creative Writing from UCT. In 2010 she started a women's writing project called 'My First Time'. It focuses on women's stories of significant first time experiences. Buy the book on the site http://myfirsttimesa.com or via Modjaji Books. Jen's first novel, The Peculiars, came out in February 2016 and is published by Penguin. Get it in good book stores, and on Takealot.com

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Jen Thorpe

Jennifer is a feminist, activist and advocate for women's rights. She has a Masters in Politics from Rhodes University, and a Masters in Creative Writing from UCT. In 2010 she started a women's writing...

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