C’mon Becks, it’s time to conquer Africa!

I suppose David Beckham wasn’t quite expecting the verbal volley from Galaxy fans on his return. Then again, what did he expect?

If you tell your wife you love her dearly, then spend half a year flirting outrageously with an exotic supermodel, will you really be surprised if you are confined to the couch and no supper for a few weeks?

Yes we all know that he made a mistake in jumping ship from Europe to partake in a little soccer, but a deal is a deal, Becks — 250 million dollars means Galaxy have every right to be a little peeved to know that you really see them as a minor league with no hope of keeping you in the England squad.

Over the last year Becks has done more backtracking off the field than he ever managed in his spell at Manchester United.

“I want to make an impact in America. I believe that the standard there is much higher than people think.”

“I miss top-flight football.”

“I am in love with Milan.”

“I don’t want to go back to the MLS, they will just have to understand.”

Bloody hell, whatever next David. Perhaps a request for a trial at United again?

The problem with being Beckham, it seems, is that he has been trying too hard to please everyone over the last few years. Remember the Becks of 1998-99?

After the sending-off, before the flying boot? Well, that was a footballer obsessed with one thing — doing the business on the field. Fast forward 10 years and he is raising soccer’s profile, dashing off to Milan, babysitting and doing his bit as a superstar- supersub for Signor Capello.

Becks the business man, Becks the model. But Becks the top-flight footballer?

It seems he is stuck in a sticky state where he is too good for the MLS but too old and too slow for the rigours of a full season in a top league. Sunday’s antics between Becks and the fans were almost comical.

I mean, even Milan players were trying to hold him back. And what was he planning to do upon confronting the offending fan? He is famous for plenty of trivial tripe but, at last glance, street-fighting was most certainly not on his resume.

It looks like it will be a tough season pretending to enjoy the glory of the MLS for Mr Beckham. And come November he will dash off again to Europe trying to secure a seat to 2010.

As I see it, he could do no worse than join a club right here. Sundowns being the only option, of course!

Firstly, the weather would be right down his street. And also, his Bentleys and Ferraris would not look out of place next to the owner’s fleet.
He could label it as a spying mission for Capello and butter it up as some development work to the unwitting Yanks.

A few pics with Madiba and JZ will keep him in the gossip pages, while a few choice terms in Sotho will endear him to a completely new market.

A spot of male mugodu promotion, perhaps?

Goodness knows we need some dead-ball expertise in our diski, anyway.

So, how about it David?

Forget the miserable winter of Milan and come and frolic in the Mamelodi madness. Patrice and new coach Hristo could use a sprinkling of stardust, even if it’s fast approaching its sell-by date …