Bolt? We have plenty of our own …

I have watched as the world marvelled at Usain Bolt’s insane performances in Beijing. And it occurred to me: we have plenty of our own Bolt-like brothers. With planning, we could be the toast of London 2012. How?

If you have ever seen a mugging in town, you know how fast our criminals can run. I say, give the lads an incentive. Don’t lock them up. We are already experiencing overloads in our detention facilities, which means criminals are released early and repeat the circle of misbehaviour again and again

This is an appeal to Ngconde Balfour, Minister of Correctional Services. Let us be proactive, baba. I mean, you were a minister of sport and recreation just the other day, so you should spot a prospective star from a mile away.

Instead of a jail term, which will be later reduced, give them the option of representing our country and help us bump up our deplorable medal count. Put them on the right diet and see the world marvel.

And this is not new; China plucks young protégés straight out of school and rears them to be world beaters. So they’ve got gymnasts. Well, we’ve got sprinters. They have divers, and we have possible air-rifle superstars just waiting to be spotted.

We need to use our human resources to the best of our ability. And we can even have the moral high ground on countries like Britain, who find half their team from their former colonies. We would be homegrown, and proudly South African.

And to top it all, our crime rates should decrease. I say should, but one wonders if our Bolt wannabes would see crime as their audition to Olympic glory …

Now, as I remove a firmly wedged tongue from my cheek, let me be serious for a moment.

Usain Bolt is a phenomenon. His displays are not just what athletics needs; sport in general needs his kind. I mean, there is nothing better than a true champion who plays with a smile on his face and pride thumping from his chest. Think back to the Brazil side of the 1970 World Cup, the Arsenal Invincibles of 2004 and their then peerless Thierry Henry. Those teams oozed class, confidence and charisma.

Bolt fits a similar description, and I just hope he cuts the swagger for a little more than 19 seconds in the 200m final, so he can rewrite the record books. Again.

And he’d best enjoy it, because Pollsmoor’s finest is coming for him in 2012!