The commentator had it right. Barcelona haven’t won anything yet, despite their mind-blowing brilliance. I will say one thing, though. They may not have won a trophy this season, but Pep Guardiola’s side have most certainly won the hearts of every football fan out there.

Their latest demolition job, in Real Madrid’s backyard nogal, was quite a sight to behold. To win the El Clasico derby is one thing; to dominate it is quite another. Scoring six goals while hardly breaking a sweat, however, is bordering on the ridiculous.

They are like a bunch of graffiti artists, blissfully spraying their filthy brilliance across the fields of Europe. You almost want to scream “unfair!” or “mercy” when Iniesta, Messi and Xavi are running riot.

Never mind all the other statistics that they are rattling up. For sheer entertainment value, here’s just one to make your lips salivate. Saturday night’s hit for six was the fifth time they have scored six goals or more in a match this season.

Total football does not even begin to describe the way they strut their stuff. Madrid thought they were doing fine, as they put two men on little Messi.

Big mistake.

All that did was open up cavernous spaces for Thierry Henry, Samuel Eto’o and the daintfully destructive Iniesta. If you want a master class in hip-swivelling so mesmerising that you could dummy an entire grandstand, then just watch Iniesta move. Perhaps he watches Shakira music videos in his spare time. Or maybe he has no hip bone — just a jelly like structure that joins the back to the legs.

For all of Messi’s magic and the deadly finishing of Eto’o and Henry upfront, the one guy who takes these boys to another level is Iniesta. He makes space, seemingly from nowhere, then lets Xavi spray wondrous passes all around.

They may have drawn a blank against Chelsea last week, but I just cannot see them doing that again. There is too much talent, too much creativity and too much reckless bliss flowing through their veins to stop them finding the net.

And you best believe that they are likely to concede.

The manner of the goals Madrid scored will have interested the likes of Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard. It seems Barca spend so much time perfecting their attacking prowess, that defending is not so much a hobby as it is a chore. Only Gerard Pique hinted at timing a tackle, while Carles Puyol’s marking was so lacking he might as well have been in the president’s box for the first goal of the game.

But, despite all this, you have to remember Mr Eto’o’s sage observation.

“We might concede goals, but we can always score more.”

Touche.

Common sense suggests that Barcelona and Manchester United will be in Rome for the Champions League finale at the end of the month. But, there is nothing common about European football and sense is not a term you would use to describe most of this season’s results. Just sit back and watch the magic happen.

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Lungani Zama

Lungani Zama

Lungani Zama is a sports writer at The Witness daily newspaper in Pietermaritzburg, writing mainly on local and international cricket. He brings an alternative perspective to the English Premier...

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