Ban the cabbage! Viva the vuvuzela!

By Mohamed Fayaz Khan

The recent news that the PSL (of all organisations) is considering banning the vuvuzela from all future PSL games came as a shock especially after the vociferous support it received from Safa and all “true” South African soccer supporters in the run-up to the World Cup. If one recalls, Fifa actually did ban these devices from the World Cup until Safa made a presentation and suggested that you would not get a true South African football experience without the vuvuzelas. Fans like Freddie “Saddam” Maake, a famous Kaizer Chiefs’ supporter, was quoted as saying: “No one will stop vuvuzelas and they’re here to stay! I will be the first to be arrested with my vuvuzela if it gets banned from the World Cup games. We have been blowing this instrument for as long as we can remember and no one will tell us what to do.”

Ironically, it was the behaviour of hopefully some other Kaiser Chiefs’ supporters during the MTN 8 semi-final clash against Orlando Pirates at the FNB Stadium on September 26 that resulted in this threat being issued by PSL prosecutor Zola Majuvu. The Amakhosi fans are accused of throwing two vuvuzelas and a cabbage onto the field and Kaizer Chiefs were thus fined R500 000, which was wholly suspended making it similar therefore to points on the Drew Carey Show ie it means nothing. However it was great to see that healthy eating habits during sporting events appear to be catching on because I have no other explanation as to why someone would come to the great Soweto derby with a cabbage! Somebody bringing a cabbage to a game should really be the issue here and raise a lot more eyebrows.

If I had the resources, time, money or creativity I would have done a daily show-like montage of a politician supporting the vuvuzela, six months ago, as part of his culture and tradition, and now saying that there are grave health and safety concerns associated with the device and it should therefore be banned. I remember watching an English Premiership game a few years ago where Wayne Rooney (he of Shrek fame) was celebrating in front of the opposition supporters after scoring a goal and got a cellphone thrown at him. Admittedly our supporters are tame compared to the “hooligans”, but where will it stop. I suspect one person who wishes this kind of thing does not stop is Majuvu because what does a PSL prosecutor do when there is no one left to prosecute?

I have nothing against the vuvuzela (except when pointed directly at my head from an overeager fan sitting behind me) and in fact think it is a great example of how inventive and resourceful the Chinese are. For those of you unaware, it was reported that as much as 90% of the vuvuzelas sold here during the World Cup were made in China. In fact, Chenghai toy manufacturers were quoted as saying that factories were working overtime to meet World Cup demand. In a land where workers are often exploited at minimum wage, I hope Safa appreciated the impact its presentation to reverse the banning of the vuvuzela had on these workers. For those of you still naive enough to believe it was Safa’s presentation that reversed Fifa’s decision on this matter and not the $20 million trumpet market during the World Cup, I hope the blue pill did not taste as bitter as the red one did!

Mohamed Fayaz Khan is an electrical engineer.