Avishkar Govender
Avishkar Govender

Mugabe the Tory?

A cursory squizz through YouTube will tell you a lot about Mugabe, a man who is recorded all over the internet as having something to do with Zimbabwe. He is variously referred to as one of the liberators of Africa — having served the liberation movements of Africa since his youth and as the tyrant who is responsible for the genocide of innocent Zimbabweans who were born without the Mugabe-supporter gene.

But while I find the absence of an official Zanu-PF or Zimbabwe government website strange, given the vast legion of anti-Mugabe websites on the internet, I do however think that the prime minister’s official web-residence is rather quaint.

While I have in the past been a supporter of Mugabe, given everything he’s done to assist the cause of South African freedom, and while I have called for Mugabe to be granted amnesty from prosecution for crimes against humanity, and while I have in the past tried to explain both Mugabe’s land reform policies and rhetoric, I now think that I need to intervene.

This is where he started in 1976, making genteel comments about the independence of Rhodesia and the need for a mixed socio-capitalist economy.

In 2003, he explains why the land reform programme was doomed from the start.

In 2007 Mugabe tells the world, the UN, the EU, the USA and the UK to get stuffed … Part 1 and Part 2.

In 2008, Mugabe gets harassed for having stolen the presidential elections in Zimbabwe. He then went on to ensure that the world knew that he was president of Zimbabwe, except that everyone denied that he had been legitimately elected. Thereafter the peace deal, the government of national unity and the power sharing arrangements between Zanu-PF, MDC-T and MDC-M (Zanu-Bulawayo was left out) were implemented and then he ended up in 2009 at the UN.

Having said and watched all, it gave me great pleasure to see that the Tories have been endorsed by His Highness, the Duke of Salisbury, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, who declared that he would relate better to the conservatives than he would to the labour party. Except that Brother Cameron hasn’t changed this position since 2007.

So the Mugabweans out there will forgive me for saying that perhaps we need to intervene in his life so that the nonsense we have seen from Bob since Sally died and Grace took over can be redirected for the purpose of ensuring that the Zimbabweans don’t continue to chase their dreams of Great Zimbabwe, while living as exiles and second-class residents of other countries.