“Right,” said the exasperated customs official at Auckland international airport to the poker-faced Chinese gentleman. “In your country, if yew make a false declaration on re-entering yer country, what happens?” Marion (The Chook) and I had arrived in Auckland from Shanghai on Saturday March 13. We had travelled Air New Zealand, a flight which is […]
Rod MacKenzie
CRACKING CHINA was previously the title of this blog. That title was used as the name for Rod MacKenzie's second book, Cracking China: a memoir of our first three years in China. From a review in the Johannesburg Star: " Mackenzie's writing is shot through with humour and there are many laugh-out-loud scenes". Cracking China is available as an eBook on Amazon Kindle or get a hard copy from www.knowledgethirstmedia.co.za.
His previous book is a collection of poetry,Gathering Light.
A born and bred South African, Rod now lives in Auckland, New Zealand, after a number of years working in southern mainland China and a stint in England.
Under the editorship of David Bullard and Michael Trapido he had a column called "The Mocking Truth" on NewsTime until the newszine folded.
He has a Master's Degree in Creative Writing from the University of Auckland. if you are a big, BIG publisher you should ask to see one of his many manuscript novels. Follow Rod on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/Rod_in_China
Kate Turkington and I on Radio 702… etcetera
Thabonk! Skrreek! The bottom part of our bed collapsed at about two in the morning the other day here in Shanghai . “Oh for – – sake!” Marion, The Chook, moaned as we lay there in a half-resurrected position, sleepily trying to figure out what had happened. “Let’s sort it out in the morning,” I […]
Gender-bending and other titbits on holiday in China
In the railway station Marion goes off for a smoke and I cover her seat with her jacket and mine to book her spot. A Chinese woman promptly comes over and sits on the jackets, clearly relieved to find a seat. “Zheli you ren, xiaojie“. This seat is taken, ma’am, I say. She stares at […]
Tears, masculinity, death
The most powerful memory of my father is the last one. I was starting to walk from our home to school on a large plot in Boksburg when I heard him calling me, “Rod, Roddy, Roddy!” Age seventeen, angry and rebellious, I was annoyed because he would often imperiously call me, summons me, without giving […]
Google’s Buzz and the culture of invading privacy
It was Chinese New Year here in Shanghai this Friday night. Sitting in our apartment on the 22nd floor was like being in a high-tech Star Trek movie. The fireworks started during the day and by 10PM our home in Shanghai was aglow with spectacular fireworks. Whistling skyrockets, massive explosions like gushing waterfalls, gigantic chandeliers […]
…And the very real abuse of men by women?
In about 1991 I remember having some female friends when living in Cape Town. Some were divorced or going through one. Two in particular one evening were discussing how they were going to wangle more money out of their “ex’s”. They were laughing and putting down their poor ex-sods. I was most indignant, made a […]
Phallic jokes and where Zuma can gloriously take us
A young Scotsman, Wee Tom, disliked his nickname for obvious reasons. His schoolboy friends had seen him in the shower and he was very wee where matters are supposed to count. “Ha ha, Tom, when you get it up you’re going nowhere. She will fall asleep from boredom.” “Just wait and see,” retorted Wee Tom. […]
Sex, Zuma, intellectualism…who or which ‘comes’ naturally?
Source : Sapa /dbm/tk An email joke doing the rounds at the moment is titled “An incredible story of luck and inspiration for us all!” It shows a picture of an extremely ugly, fat man with a gorgeous blonde clinging to him. Let’s call them Simon and Gwen. Simon is a cultural stereotype of ugliness. […]
Male sexual prowess, being jobless and…tequila!
So ol’ Joe falls sideways on the bed after the most marvellous sex and sighs. His lady companion Roxanne asks him, “Do you still smoke after having sex?” Joe’s eyes twinkle and he gives Roxanne a crinkly, mischievous grin while he lies there with his arms behind his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.” […]
Your identity: What do memories make of you?
It was the most awesome T-shirt I had ever seen. A funky deep purple dye and a cartoon of a drunken cat on the front. Thirteen years old, I stared at in gobsmacked delight. Gimme! The cat was all starry-eyed with a wasted grin on his face and he was lying inside a whiskey bottle. […]
How do you cope with suddenly being jobless?
“Dear Rod, This week will be the last week for your lessons. So you need to give all the students scores for this term. Thank you for what you have done for our school. Joy.” I received the above email at 11am on Monday 4 January and my last day of employment and earnings is […]
Akmal Shaikh and China’s zero-tolerance policy on heroin
A match is lit in the darkness and the room suddenly glowers with three silent faces watching their gang leader light his cigar, then slowly exhale with relish. “So you have good news,” he mutters to his three right-hand men. “Akmal Shaikh has been released, on the grounds of mental disability.” The three men nod […]