Bruce Cohen

Defragging is divine

Do you defrag? Really? Do you watch while you defrag? Like a teenage voyeur behind the picket fence gasping as Sally steps into her bath? I have it on good geek authority that it’s OK to watch those blue and yellow and green pixels shuttle and skip across the screen as your hard drive periodically…

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Getting to grips with a thick-headed reality

As the election draws near I am reminded of a throw-away scene in a frivolous little movie called Confetti, a mockumentary about a wedding competition. You may have seen the movie (it’s re-running on DStv at the moment). It’s a pathetic little bedroom scene where that most desperate-to-win tennis player turns to his paranoid partner…

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What your homepage says about you

I am of the opinion that you can tell a person’s character by the default homepage they keep. As your web browser increasingly assumes the role of a Third Eye, a bright, clear window that opens both into and out of your mind/soul, the opening landscape it captures both defines and shapes your persona. There…

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What Carl really needs …

I’m betting that Carl Niehaus’s cortisol levels must be through the roof as the relentless stresses of being an ex-spin doctor on the ropes and on the run take their toll on the poor bugger’s health. His penchant for expensive, gourmet cuisine would have done little to prepare him for such trying times. I read…

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Is Boesak ready to forgive us?

‘Tis the season of goodwill and forgiveness. And I’m in the spirit and 100% ready to forgive Terror Lekota for being a truly shite Cabinet minister and wishing him well in his new job as undertaker for the ANC. I can do that because I remember the “real” Lekota in the eighties when he was…

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My New Year’s resolution: Many more enemas

I was on a sensitive mission as I snuck into my local Dis-Chem and whispered discretely into the ear of a store assistant. “Hey Vusi,” she shouted down the aisle filled with pre-Christmas shoppers, “show this gentleman the enema buckets”. Vusi bounded up to me with a glint in his eye, a skip in his…

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Dr Water Crisis is seriously weird

Everyone is springing to the defence of Anthony Turton, the scientist suspended by the CSIR for his paper detailing the impending crisis in SA’s water supply. It makes grim reading. You will quickly understand why the CSIR tried to shut him up – and it’s got nothing to do with water. His paper is a…

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Fat lot of lies about your health

I am amazed that one of the most important books written on nutrition and health — one that systematically demolishes the myths, lies and scientific bigotry of mainstream health dogma — has received so little attention in this country. Perhaps I shouldn’t be. Published last year, Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes is not…

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Telkom you @#$” bastards

My last post as an aggrieved Nedbank customer drew a lot of interest and made me, very briefly I admit, almost as popular as Michael Trapido. Encouraged, I offer you Chapter 2 of my small business nightmare: today Telkom cut off my phones without warning. When I finally got through to their call-centre I was…

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A nightmare called Nedbank

Nedbank will likely deny this till the cows come home, but the truth is they pocketed a large sum from my company 10 days ago and wouldn’t give it back until, in desperation, I asked my journalist wife to rattle their cage. Suddenly, things started to happen. Which raises the question: if you don’t have…

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