Are drivers the new smokers?

Back in the 60s, the smokers were the mainstream. They were the ones who strutted their puff, sucked everyone in with their smoky charm, and made friends with their nicotine sticks. While the anti-smoking lobby were considered the lunatic fringe, a bunch of commies, hippies, ninnies and stuck-up grannies. They were definitely not the norm.

Today the tables have turned. The smoker is a beaten man, reduced to huddling around a metal bin in a back alley, or unceremoniously squashed into a glass box. He is a sad spectacle, like the lion of Kabul zoo, a tattered shadow of past glories.

Will the driver go the same way? Will there be a day when we vilify the driver like we do the smoker? Will a time come when we walk past a mum packing her pretty little kids into a big-ass road-hogging SUV and think: “You stupid selfish cow, how can you do that to your kids? Don’t you know second hand carbon is killing their world?”

Will we see a man trying to jam his body behind the wheel of his hybrid, and scream: “Hey buddy, if you think you’re fooling anyone with petrol light, think again!”

Because let’s face it, just like light cigarettes ain’t no better for you, a hybrid car ain’t no better for the world. They still run on petrol, and they are still packed full of alloys, heavy metals, plastics, chemicals, and other planetary-carcinogens. The only environmentally friendly car is your feet, and after that a bicycle, and after that good old PT — public transport.

You may think this type of fringe lunacy is far away. You may think that you are safe in your car. Who wouldn’t be confident in a 1,5 tonne hard-body designed to ramp through dongas? Even a guy who only drives it to the office can feel like he rules the planet in that thing. But the day is coming.

Oil companies are the new cigarette companies. If you ask people to list the most evil companies on the planet. They will say BP and Shell, not BAT and Phillip Morris. Texaco is the new Texan Plain. Oil is the new tobacco. The new hated commodity. The next logical step is to start hating on the user. Yes, even you in your little old Fiat Punto, just like the “social smoker”, you will be bounced outside. No hanging at the table for you. Sorry pal.

But before you get all depressed, and think you are a grotesque loser who is killing everything you love, don’t worry, you do have a choice. We all have a choice. I haven’t owned a car for coming on seven years. I have a bicycle. I cycle everywhere. Now, I don’t want to sound righteous, well, actually I do, so I will just say it: I live 9km from the office, and at the bottom of the 2km long hill, and I’m not particularly fit, in fact, I’m quite the opposite, but I still manage to ride pretty much every day. And on the days when my lard-ass can’t get up that hill, I take the bus. So if I can do it, if millions of others can do it, so can you. Walk, ride or take P.T. Or face the consequences of becoming “that guy”.