Another year, another English Premier League season

It’s the end of August, and the English Premier League (EPL — not to be confused with the IPL. Bloody acronyms) has only after two weeks swung into full swing. What should we expect? More goals, excitement, controversy and unpredictability? There have been a few 6-0 thrashings, with Newcastle’s hammering of Aston Villa over the weekend being the most surprising (though after the resignation of Martin O’Neill, Villa must be in a mess). Chelsea, the defending champions, are the only team with a perfect record after two successive 6-0 victories over Wigan and Blackpool.

For all its glamour, speed and excellence, it all seems a bit staid doesn’t it? Pundits are already saying that the opening part of the season is “extremely important” (no shit), “the title isn’t decided in August” (no shit again) and that Manchester United and Chelsea are the favourites for the title and “can’t afford to drop points”. (Really? No shit.)

And why do we happen to know so much about the EPL? One word: television. Ever since the EPL sold its TV rights to Rupert Murdoch’s BSkyB in 1992 for £304 million over five seasons (a radical idea in itself at the time), the writing was on the wall. Now, fast forward to today and the television rights between 2010 and 2013 have been sold to BSkyB, who have been accused of collusion with the EPL, for £1.782 billion. With the EPL clubs dividing a large percentage of that amount among themselves, plus adding in separate club media, merchandising and advertising operations, the numbers become mind boggling. The English Premier League is the richest league in the world, no matter what La Liga, Serie A and the Bundesliga have to say.

That is why the EPL has attracted the interests of various businessmen, who saw that football is good business. Russian oligarch and reported dodgy dealer Roman Abramovich started the gold rush with Chelsea, who subsequently won two titles under the exception Jose Mourinho (who will be the next Manchester United manager). The Glazers moved in on Manchester United, buying the club on the back of a mountain of debt that they are having problems paying. The same could be said for Liverpool, whose buyout by George Gillett and Tom Hicks has left the club also in a pile of rank-ass debt. The poison pill? Only time will tell but neither Manchester United or Liverpool’s course is finished running. Manchester City are the new Goliath having been bought by HH Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan (or as the British refer to him as, Sheikh Mansour/Sugar Daddy) spending more than £280 million on new players in the process. Sadly for his rivals, oil is this man’s trade and as such his pockets are almost limitless.

The arrival of the epoch of foreign owners in the EPL has kind of coincided with increased foreign representation in English football, which is an oxymoron in itself. Approximately 60% of all players in the EPL this year are non-British, and we thought England’s very average first-class cricket set-up had issues with uitlanders. The EPL has become the United States of world football, where the “locals”, whatever they may be, are outnumbered by everyone else. It’s not quite that way in the US, but within five to 10 years, that’s also going to change. The Yanks were a nation of immigrants anyway.

But, as with affairs on the field, all the unexpected stuff feels, well, expected. We have been served so much English football, plus their ludicrous media cycle, that it all becomes “just another EPL season”. Even before the season began I felt a case of EPL media saturation with all the transfer news (thankfully online … no trees were harmed in the writing of this blog).

I am looking forward to Tottenham’s performance in the Uefa Champions League this year (and I really don’t like Liverpool, which must be said we rather sharp in appointing Roy Hodgson manager) that is if they can get there after a very poor 3-2 loss to Young Boys of Switzerland.

Otherwise it is pretty much a case of “as you were”. Manchester City have the talent, the question is now do they have the “team”? If Arsene Wenger can acquire Mark Schwarzer or Shay Given before the transfer window closes, Arsenal — which has Cesc Fabregas for one last season before his inevitable switch to Barcelona — might just … just … be able to challenge for honours this season. Tottenham would do well to stay fourth, with the Big Four still very much that, except City have replaced Liverpool. Chelsea still appear to have the most balanced squad, while Roberto Mancini needs to work some magic to keep his squad of highly paid players (ALL of them) happy. Compared to Peter de Villers, old Snor doesn’t know what a selection headache is. Good luck Roberto.

Either way, it’s too early to judge what is going to happen come May next year. Hang on … hasn’t someone said that already?