Adenhauer must make a decisive choice

Being the feckless fool that I am — unworthy of DA membership, unfit for ANC branch duty, unwelcome at ID Tupperware parties, uninvited to IFP cultural gatherings, too heathen for ACDP communions, and all but shunned by MF breyani jols — it gave me some cold comfort late last year when a horde of ANC members followed my lead and left the ANC.

South Africa has still to come to terms with the various academic nuances which distinguish African Nationalism from Pan-Africanism and their attendant congresses; and the addition (or separation) that the Congress of the People has added to our woes.

In the aftermath of Indian independence it became clear to Indian parents across all of great Bharath, that the number one career for their children was not medicine or engineering, but rather congress wallahring.

You see, a wallah is someone who sells things — a trader, vendor or hawker — and a congress wallah is someone (who while wearing a Nehru suit and cap) sells congress politics.

So in SA we have the congress wallahs of the extreme ethno-nationalism (the pan-Africanists), we have the congress wallahs of the moderate ethno-nationalism (the African nationalists); and now we have the congress wallahs of the conservative socio-corporatism (Cope).

The recent Cope statement that, “We need a leader who represents the values that we in Cope espouse, honesty, hard work and family values,” illustrates that Cope has the opportunity to slide into the political space vacated by the NNP, which is currently held by the IFP.

That space is conservatism, and apart from the CDU/CSU, the UK-Tories and the US-Republicans, a number of other paternalistic and socially inhibited parties the world over find common ground through the IDU — and surely this is Adenhauer’s impending masterstroke for SA.

The distribution of European ideo-politics is such that in every European country there is a social democratic, a liberal democratic, a conservative/christian democratic and a green party — and by and large these four groups of parties hold the political space.

In SA, we have a social democratic government (ANC), a liberal democratic opposition (DA) and a conservative democratic opposition (IFP), and now we have Cope. Rumblings of a coalition of green parties, mean that if Cope is to chase and secure significant political funding for its training of activists and planning of activities, then it has only one option, and that is to sing a conservative tune that would make even Renier Schoeman proud.

Yes, Angela Merkel, sorry Konrad Adenhauer can save Cope and thereby cement its role in the SA polity, thus displacing the liberal democrats from the role of official opposition and forcing the IFP on to a more Bavarian, less KwaZulu path.

As to whether the conservatives will have any success — having backed one unpopular horse after the next — remains to be seen, but we can be in no doubt that if Shenge is the man we can trust, if Dandala is a clergyman of great integrity, if De Lille fights corruption and if Zille is the international mayor of the year; then JZ has to pull out all of the stops to sell the substance of a developmental South African state to the voters in the next few months.

Cope’s decision to go conservative is mirrored by its decision to let Coca-Cola do all its baseline marketing, “It’s brrr on the Cope side of life…” (ex-comrades feeling cold outside of the ANC); “Have a Cope and a smile” (defect from the ANC and be happy about it); “Cope … you can’t beat the feeling.” (from UDF soapbox to Sandton money, whattarush.) and “Cope … Real” (we all know for whom Mbeki’s voting).

We must now hope that Cope will produce a tangible electoral offer that is somehow more intelligent than these damn SMSs I keep getting from comrades inviting me to join Dandala-Shitoka, aka Cope.

Just for the record, Dan-the-dallah-Shi-toka is not a charou — and I have returned to the ANC — The Real Congress. AMANDLA AWETHU COMRADES !!!