It's getting emoticon crazy out there

Last week I received no less than three yellow faces. Up from zero the week before. If Yellow Face Fever is sweeping the country, shoot me now. Nothing brings an email to its knees like a grinning yellow idiot at the bottom of it. I really can’t understand why grown-ups who sit in air conditioned offices and tell their kids not to write on walls would want to ruin their emails with silly looking caricatures. It’s not adding emotion to emails I have a problem with, it’s the smug little look on the yellow brigade’s faces. I don’t even know how to add them, wait, there it is. You go to insert, clip art, from file and a deliriously happy camper with a glassy look in his eyes. But wait, there’s more. Get a load of this one smiling so hard he can’t even keep his eyes open. Do you smell something funny? Hey, I’ve got my head in a vice but I’m still smiling Did someone say emoticons for the deaf? Drunk AND in love And my personal favourite — I’m so happy I’ve got vertigo

There’s no denying these little bastards are in the seventh heaven about something. Whether it’s drugs or just a general sunny disposition we’ll never know. Maybe they’re just happy it’s summer. Now I know you get some who look angry and deranged but I think overall happiness is hogging the limelight here. What about all the other emotions like bemused and clinically depressed? Whoever the graphic genius is behind this yellow wave of annoyance still has quite a lot to do. Where’s the one that says, “I’m really conflicted about what you just emailed me but will work it out with my therapist” and “I’m so angry at you right now but I’m not showing it because you have to take me to the airport later”? And please for the love of God can someone come up with an emoticon that shows sarcasm.

Love them or hate them, the yellow faces are here to stay with nothing short of a ban on email able to stop them. I’ll tell you, it’ll be a real a real shame if the yellow army marches on to take over our inboxes completely; if they kill off the Pioneers in a bloody HTML showdown. I’ll miss the old faces:

The Original : )

The Picasso: :–)

Old one-eye ; )

Freak face :<)

The Clown :o)

The Beard : D

Grumpy : (

Best thing the Pioneers can do is boost their numbers so let’s all work together and break in these new ones:

I’m watching you :::::)

Yawn fest : o

Happy Movember :{

Thanks, next year I’m growing a handle bar :[