The Banana Republic -- coming soon to a home near you

Remember how we used to joke about corruption in “some countries” with the condescending tone of those who consider themselves above such?

We’d laugh, half in wonder, half in condescension at talk that police could stop citizens randomly with no apparent offence being committed and search and interrogate them until a bribe was put forward to end the harassment. OR even that police would set up roadblocks for the sole purpose of collecting bribes.

How we would listen wide-eyed at the absurd shenanigans of having to pay civil servants to pass you the right forms for basic admin like identity documents and passports. Or birth certificates. Even death certificates for that matter. How the idea that one could summarily walk into a government office and literally buy citizenship over the counter. How that culture could permeate everywhere from the highest level of the civil service to lowly front-desk offices. Effectively paying again for services that your taxes funded. It always sounded like something from a B-grade movie where a hero would help topple the government, for the masses, the grateful unwashed.

The very idea that corruption could become a culture, be the way things are done, the norm. Not a shortcut for the desperate and unscrupulous, but the only way of getting things done. We have a term for THOSE countries — banana republics.

Remember when we laughed off R50 bribes for “coldrink” as an easy way of getting off minor traffic indiscretions? Saving everybody stress and paperwork we thought. Just a South African quirk to keep traffic flowing. Now having a loose R50 is the least of your worries when you see flashing blue lights behind you. A long queue is the least of your worries when entering a civil-service office.

The banana republic is creeping up on us. And only we can stop it.