The bare breast debate: Somewhere between the full-body burka and the full monty

A couple of weeks ago, the Mail & Guardian featured a “for” and “against” exchange on the subject of women going bare-breasted on public beaches. It virtually goes without saying that both viewpoints were advanced by women. What possible right, after all, would a man have to express an opinion in an area that is (at least among “right-thinking people” in the prevailing social and intellectual climate) entirely a female preserve? Put more bluntly, men are expected to butt out from the debate completely, since what women decide to do with their bodies is entirely a female concern.

Bristling feminists may suspect in any case that what the dominant male response to the question would be, “Yeah! Haul ’em out! Hur! Hur! Hur!” Actually, the likelihood is that overt feminine nudity in the public realm would make most men feel uncomfortable, even if for a variety of reasons many may not admit it. I also believe that men do have a say in how women disport themselves, since it very much affects them as well, not to mention their inter-personal relationships.

It is hardly higher physics to point out that female nudity evokes sexual desire in males. The question is whether every male necessarily wishes to be stimulated sexually at times and in places not of his choosing.

There are a number of possible objections such a person might raise. For example, is it fair to heighten a man’s desires without any realistic prospect of those desires being fulfilled (the “cock-teaser” argument)? How, in particular, does this make someone who is elderly, physically unprepossessing and/or overweight feel to be shown something that is simultaneously achingly enticing and entirely unattainable?

Then there is the question of the impact on married couples/long-term partnerships. A married man confronted with nubile young ladies lustily swinging their bazoongas at him will surely retain this in his mind and, as inevitably, make comparisons when looking at his own wife. The latter may well be less attractive. Will he view her with the same degree of affection and physical desire than he did before, or will an element of dissatisfaction with her have crept in? Will this feeling even begin blossoming into a certain resentment over time, particularly as she progressively loses her looks? To all this should be added the question of the guilt any presumably decent man would feel over his illicit desires and diminishing ability to express his love to his wife when she so obviously needs it.

That brings me to the wife/female partner. Not everyone is a beauty — indeed, most women are not, and not a few would be regarded as distinctly unattractive in bare physical terms. Would not such women prefer that their partners not continually be exposed to those so much more attractive and/or younger than them? Spare a thought for those contemplating their flat chests or swelling bellies in the mirror, drawing comparisons and, worst of all, knowing that their menfolk must be thinking along the same lines.

As the aforegoing makes plain, I am profoundly opposed to nudity in the public realm. It will further be noticed that I made no reference to people’s religious sensibilities when outlying some of my concerns (partly because baiting religious conservatives is in fact what some find rather attractive about bare-breastedness, so to mention that in this context would be self-defeating). Essentially, my argument is that there are excellent secular reasons why such conduct should be discouraged. Actual legislation is not necessary — social pressure should do the trick. The answer lies somewhere between the full-body burka and the full monty, and adhering to this will sure make for a happier, more trusting society.