Hold the phone! That’s not true. Or is it? I read today the Brits are trying to claim Johnny Clegg from us. The BBC had an article titled: “Ten famous Britons you’ve probably never heard of”. And there he was, number ten on the list.
Ok, granted, he was born in the UK. But does that make him British? Not in my book. He’s a true blue South African. The real deal. Mr Clegg has a very unique South African story. Musician, anthropologist and Zulu dancer. In 2004, South Africa voted him number 23 on SABC’s Great South Africans. They also voted in Verwoerd at number 19 but let’s not go there. Johnny Clegg is South African. Finish and klaar.
This is not the first time Britain has laid claim to one of our most gifted sons and daughters. They seem to have a habit of it.
The fact is there has always been a bit shortage of great Britons in Great Britain. Which is why they had to go everywhere in the world looking for some. Take cricket for instance. They invented the game back in the days when we believed the sun circled the earth. But even after 500 years, they are still unable to field a team of eleven decent local-born men. In fact I remember a test match between South Africa and England where at one point in the game, everyone on the field was actually born in South Africa. The two men at the crease were AJ Strauss and Kevin Pietersen. The unique occurrence, I think a first in the game, was only mentioned in passing by the British commentator. But if it had been the other way round, it would have been beamed across the planet on BBC World …THIRTEEN BRITONS TAKE TO THE PITCH! … BRITANNIA RULES THE OVAL! … The word would have sounded on blogs, twitter and facebook pages. If you think I am exaggerating remember this is a country that drove a truck around Sydney last year to announce they had beaten Australia’s medal tally in the Olympics. The first time since 1992. But anyway, back to Pietersen and Strauss. If we are still doing the flipside thing, I feel fairly confident in saying that they won’t be appearing on any list of great South Africans. I can’t see SA laying claim to these two. They are officially outside the circle of trust.
While we can afford to throw away cricketers, we can’t afford to lose footballers. But that hasn’t stopped our friends across the ocean. Benni McCarthy has missed more Bafana Bafana matches than he has played, because of his never-ending club commitments. But when the England squad plays that never happens to their players. The clubs obediently let them go. And now Benni has announced he will focus on saving his Blackburn career rather than aiming for a place at the 2010 World Cup. He should have been one of the boys. But instead he’s one of the lads. Then there’s Zola Pieterse. Or as she was known back in the day, Zola Budd. The British tabloids led a campaign to get her over to Britain on a technicality. Her grandfather was British. Zola on the other hand was as British as pap and gravy. A plaas girl who had never run in shoes. But she was fast. So fast, they processed her passport in four days.
Of course, life exists beyond just the sport field. There are also important things like the movies. If we apply the same rules as the Brits applied to Zola, Joan and Jackie Collins are South African. Well, at least their dad was. But you don’t see us claiming them? If we were to start doing things like that, we’d be pulling the teeth from British culture, one by one. Sid James. One of England’s finest. Where would British comedy have been without him? Carrying on up the Khyber, that’s where. Because he’s born and bred Hillbrow. Which should be the name of Hollyoaks. For three years, the show was dominated by Elize du Toit or, as she was known on the show, Isabelle Davies (nee Cornwell). She was on the show so long she even got married and changed her name. And then divorced. Remarried. Disappeared. Went travelling. Came back. You get the picture, she was important. Important like Oscar-winning screenwriter Ronald Harwood CBE. Or as we used to call him Ronnie Horwitz from Cape Town.
I’m sure there must be other important people to add to that list. Like a scientist or ten. But we don’t need to carry on. The point is proven. We’ll just add them to the other 140 000 South Africans who are walking the streets of London.
It’s late now, but tomorrow I am going to drop a note to Gordon Brown to find out what they are playing at. They can’t possibly expect us to give back Johnny Clegg, not after all these years.
And yes, before the cynics ask, I do have a British-sounding name. Yes, my dad is English. Yes, I do have the passport. But there is no bloody way, Britain is claiming Johnny Clegg!
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