Getting to grips with a thick-headed reality

As the election draws near I am reminded of a throw-away scene in a frivolous little movie called Confetti, a mockumentary about a wedding competition. You may have seen the movie (it’s re-running on DStv at the moment).

It’s a pathetic little bedroom scene where that most desperate-to-win tennis player turns to his paranoid partner and says: “Why can’t you get it into your thick head just how much I respect you.”

Seems to me South Africans need to get it into their collective thick head too that they have entered an altered reality and need to come to grips with the genius of the Zumas, Malemas, Mpshes, Hlophes etc of our world who have been able to magically dismantle our common-sense reality and rebuild it on-the-fly to reflect a new worldview, perhaps even a new world order.

So let’s just get into our thick heads:

How much JZ really respects the Constitution, women and the rule of law.
How much JZ is completely innocent of all those charges relating to the Shaik affair.
How much of a lesser mortal the Dalai Lama is when compared to Trevor or Pallo.
How much of a true friend China is to South Africa.
How much SA’s unemployment rate is declining when the rest of the world’s is rising.
How much Mpshe applies his mind.
How much Hlophe really is a great judicial figure baited by racists on the bench.
How much Julius is the rightful heir to the Youth League of Mandela and Sisulu.
How much Tutu is just a cranky old priest with a chip on his shoulder
How much nonsense it is to infer anything fishy in the 223 cellphone calls that Selebi made to Agliotti.

Feel free to make your own thick-headed contributions to this list …