Nobody’s perfect

The legendary former Australian rugby captain, John Eales, was known as “Nobody”.

It was not for lack of talent — because any goal-kicking lock forward is certainly not a nobody!

Eales earned the tag when he missed a match-winning kick in a Bledisloe Cup match against bitter rivals New Zealand.

Hence the nickname, “Nobody’s Perfect”.

This past fortnight, in the most sensational of media storms, we have become reluctant witnesses to another not-so-perfect sportsman, despite his many talents.

Eldrick Tiger Woods has been shown — and admitted — to being as human as each and every one of us. Go figure.

We have all watched, wondered and then winced as Woods’s supposedly perfect world has unravelled in the unforgiving glare of the tabloid world.

The exact details of who was where, did what and how often can be found in every publication, but those who share an interest in the “right kind” of balls will be waiting to see which Tiger emerges the next time he prowls a course.

It has been strangely embarrassing — and curiously entertaining — to watch an icon stumble so spectacularly and so suddenly, but as the Tiger himself suggested: he is “only human and far from perfect”.

The plunge from grace of Woods is not the first, but it is certainly one of the most unexpected.

Sport’s first billionaire, married to a beautiful wife and blessed with two healthy children.

What more could he want, save for surpassing Jack Nicklaus’s mark of 18 majors?

That is the Tiger that the world has known, the driven prodigy who was born to shatter every record in the game of golf.

The multiracial poster boy who was dropped on Earth to blast boundaries and stereotypes, and make golf “cool”.

Indeed, that is the only Tiger that we were allowed to see. In an age where celebrities are made from simply living in a house with a dozen other strangers for a few weeks surrounded by cameras, Woods’s extraordinary measures to keep his private life private were seen as the benchmark for how athletes should conduct themselves.

Well, that image will never be repaired, but what us sports nuts will be desperate to see is if Tiger the man will allow his problems to affect Tiger the player — the golfer, that is.

His emotionally charged return to competition after his father’s death showed glimpses of his supposed humanity, as he missed the cut at the 2006 U.S. Open. But it was brushed aside as ring-rust, as he had barely practised since Earl Woods had passed on.

It was business as usual at the British Open at Hoylake a month later, as an imperious Tiger won the tournament quite clearly for his recently departed father.

The world looked on and marvelled as Tiger showed that he could keep his emotions bottled up until the job was done.

But what now?

When will the world’s best player return?

Will he play again? Who is to say his seething Swedish wife won’t make him choose between his beloved game and his loving family? After all, it was on his travels that Woods allowed himself to sneak a hand into the wrong cookie jar.

That is perhaps an exaggeration, given that golf has always been Tiger’s life.

But when the return materialises, the camera lenses will be fixed not on Tiger’s shots, but on his reaction.

Much like the paparazzi hound celebrities even when they walk across the street, sports hacks are equally obsessed by the ability of the biggest stars to bounce back from adversity.

Remember Lance Armstrong? Or how about David Beckham after the 1998 World Cup?

The world waited with bated breath for the first signs of self-doubt, a waning of the skills that had set them apart before.

Sports psychology preaches about the importance of staying in the moment, pushing aside any other thoughts and performing at your best in the most demanding of circumstances.

Tiger’s ability in this regard is the stuff of legends — remember his incredible putts to win the 2008 U.S. Open on practically one knee?

But that will seem like nothing compared to the world seeing him in a new light.

Quite what unravels in the Woodses’ marriage is really for them to decide in their own time and space.

But the Tiger that we will be anxious to see is the fist-pumping feline wearing a red shirt on any given Sunday.

Has he died with his previous image of supposed perfection?

Or will we see the Tiger return to burn even brighter?

While we are at it, let’s spare a thought for Roger Federer.

Yes, the same Federer who sits atop the tennis world. Besides he and Tiger being bosom buddies, they also share a few sponsors.
And one of those is Gillette. Who also happen to have Thierry Henry on their books.

Henry’s handball started it, and Tiger’s “transgressions” have merely fanned the flame of the “Gillette curse”.

But surely not Roger, right?