Oh happy day!

Was it a penalty? Was it not? Who cares? The referee did not give it. Far be it for me to undermine the authority of those chosen by the guardians of the game of the masses to ensure that it is played within its spirit and regulations.

In fact, I would go as far as to misquote horrendously the newly cured formerly blind man under questioning by the Pharisees and say: “I do not know whether he was fouled or not. What I know is this: the final score read Pirates 1, Chiefs 0.”

And what a joyful thing it is. They could have kept the trophy for all I care. What matters most? The overarching macro-myth has been validated and restored. Orlando Pirates FC, the Happy People Tsunami, Ezimnyama, prevailed over the prodigal son. For that I am thankful in more ways than I would be were I to wake up in a penthouse at the Hilton with Beyoncé and Rihanna snoozing next to me and a pile of used prophylactics lying in a tired pile on the deep-pile shag. Said shag being the floor covering.

I make no bones about the fact that I am as one-eyed and prejudiced a member of the Happy People Tsunami as any out there. I make no apologies for it either. If you don’t get it, then, well, so what? I also have never been one to deny that I feel for Kaizer Chiefs exactly the opposite of what I do for EzikaMagebhula.

So, after all the sheer Yizo-Yizo flashback-inducing torment of the last few matches, it is with the greatest pleasure this side of winning the UK lottery that I give you the following scoreline:

Pirates 1, Chiefs 0.

Wow! Words do it no justice. This is the dream of Martin seen through by Steve Biko.

I rest. Happy People forever!

PS: Well, happy till the next match, really …

Edit to add-It has been shown that the goal that took the Orlando Pirates vs Platinum Stars match to its dramatic conclusion should not have been allowed for at least two reasons. Lovely how these things even themselves out.