So there is this seven-year-old in Canada who can drive a car. Samuel. I saw it on YouTube. His dad let him drive while he filmed it on his mobile phone. The clip has sent the Canadian press into overdrive, expressing shock and horror at the incident. How can Sammy’s dad be that irresponsible? The driver’s seat is no place for a child. But whatever. While they were venting their moral outrage, all I could think about was how awesome this was. This kid is actually driving. And doing a good job too. Only adults are meant to be able to do this, not kids.

His video got me wondering if I have been misjudging the power of seven-year-olds. Is there this whole world of grade-school achievers out there that I have overlooked? Are they more adult than we think? Should we be reducing the driving age to seven?

The first answer, the adult answer, is a resounding no. If you have never had the fortune to meet a seven-year-old, have a look at this one. David from “David after the Dentist”. He’s one of the world’s most famous seven-year-olds. Yes, he is very funny. That moment when he asks “Is this real life?” It gets me every time. But he is hardly a contender for a driver’s licence. Especially all jacked up on happy gas.

But David aside let’s just run with this thing.

Turns out that driving is quite common for seven-year-olds. YouTube is littered with examples. One parent even claimed her son could pass his driving licence if he was given the opportunity. I applaud her responsible attitude. If a minor is going drive, he should do his test. Plus it would be good for the folks … “Dad, Simon’s having a sleep over but I’m scared of bogeymen in his cupboard. Can I take your car so if I get scared I can come home? … Sure, son. Just don’t eat too many lollies and then drive, mkay?” Parenthood could start to become fun again. No more dreading your kid having a fully active social life. No more thinking “Christ, it’s pottery night again!” Or “Why does jazz ballet have to be so darn early on a Saturday?” You could even get them one of those little cars that are good for the environment. Cheap, space conscious, perfect for city driving and great fuel economy.

The only downside is you may not have as much control over your kid as you used to. Which is what happened in Ohio recently. A good Christian family, following the Lord’s advice, did unto to their child as they would have done unto themselves. They taught him to drive. Unfortunately come Sunday the seven-year-old stole the family car to escape going to church. Maybe he got scared when Jesus said suffer the little children. But whatever his reason for bolting from church, this little guy didn’t run or ride off on his pushbike, he took the car. How great is that? A baby-faced Clyde. All he needed was little Bonnie and he would have been set for a life of crime and high times. Unfortunately he got done when he jumped a red. The Ohio State Police gave chase and he eventually abandoned the car and ran back into his house.

Now you probably thinking I’m shooting myself in the foot here by mentioning this kid. I can already hear y’all saying “this kid stole a car and jumped a red. Which is exactly why kids shouldn’t be behind the wheel”. But if we are honest this behaviour is not limited to seven-year-olds. In South Africa there are quite a few adults doing it. I’ve jumped my fair share of reds. Hell, I’ve even got a criminal record. Didn’t steal a car, but you get my point.

So a seven-year-old has the ability to drive. It’s a fact. But a big part of being allowed to drive is taking responsibility for your actions. It is aptitude plus attitude. It’s about your ability to cope in an adult world. Lots of people may think this is where seven-year-olds fall down. But that may not be true. Take little Richard Sandrak. Maybe I should say big Richard Sandrak. He shot to world fame back in 1999 as little Hercules. The world’s most pumped up seven-year old. This little dude was inspired by the Governator to pursue a life of zero body fat and extreme muscle index. He began pumping iron at the age of three and still does it. At seven he could bench-press 145 pounds. Any kid that can bench-press more than most adult men will get no argument from me if he wants to drive. Of course you can say just because he has the strength of a man, doesn’t mean he has the reasoning and responsibility of a man. But Richard, he does. This kid has his own line of supplements, his own website and he’s dedicated. He is down at Gold’s Gym five days a week. If you are ever down on Venice Beach, drop by and you’ll see him there.

Now if the brawn of Richard doesn’t convince you, maybe the brains of Akrit Jaswal will. He is the world’s first seven-year-old surgeon. He started reading medical textbooks at five, observed surgery at six and finally performed his first operation at seven. This is the real-life Doogie Howser. Today, he is just twelve and claims to have discovered a cure for cancer when he was eight. Imagine what he could have done if he’d had a car?

Of course, all of these are isolated cases of greatness. Anomalies. Flukes. And the law is not about the exception but the majority. We need that mass answer. That large demographic of seven-year-olds that proves our point. A group of kids that make us think these guys are dealing with adult situations every day, they deserve to drive. I won’t give you one, I’ll give you two.

Child labourers and child soldiers.

The amazing kids of South East Asia. The solid dependable factory workers holding down steady jobs, keeping the fashion and clothing industry alive. They are the bricks that whole economies are built from. There are literally millions of them manning sowing machines and production lines. They work to tight deadlines and for minimal pay. And they always get the job done. They are the reason a T-shirt can cost less than a Big Mac. Without them what would we be wearing? Last season’s crappy V-neck, that’s what.

To this army of workers we can add the child soldiers. An integral part of the modern war machine. Every day they are called upon to keep alive the regimes of countless warlords, dictators and state leaders. Estimates say there are over 300 000 of them actively engaged in warfare today (that’s ten times the number of soldiers in the entire South African army). Like any regular army, they are required to handle sophisticated equipment, take orders and execute battle plans. They are as adult as they come.

So for me, it seems pretty simple: if we are willing to let them make our clothes, if we are willing to let them fight our wars, why shouldn’t seven-year-olds drive?

Author

  • David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon missionary they call the Sweet Singer of Israel. He is a British historian and a bishop. David Smith is the biographer of HG Wells, a professor of physics, a composer and a music teacher at Yale. He played rugby for Samoa, England and New Zealand. He created the Melissa worm, a deadly computer virus. He is the Guardian's man in Africa, he starred in a reality TV show and shot his way to silver in the 600m military rifle prone position at the 1920 Summer Olympics in Antwerp. But this isn't that David Smith. This is the blog of the other David Smith. David J Smith. The one from Durban by the Sea. The one who lives in Amsterdam. Yes, him. The David Smith who likes to write about himself in the third person. To learn about all the other David Smiths: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Smith To contact this David Smith: [email protected]

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David J Smith

David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon...

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