No, this won’t be some swollen tome on the gravity of parenthood. It won’t be some heavy words, wrung from worried hands, on the seriousness of fatherly duty. That stuff is all fine, a walk in the park, the kids are gonna be fine.

The weight I want to speak of is the ounces and pounds, the grams and kilos that come from inactivity. The lard of the homebound dad. The man tied down by dinner-time, bath-time, bedtime. Cemented to the couch waiting for this or that naptime to end. Foregoing his youthful splendour when he ran free, limbs outstretched. Foregoing the days of the hunter to become a herder. The minder of the flock who sits and watches. The TV, the microwave, the fridge, the fly trapped in the lace curtain.

Around the world men die from fatherhood. Waiting for the kids to grow up. Looking at the clock. Flicking through the channels. Mmm, what is in the kitchen? Ooh look, chocolate. Oooh, beer. Nice beer. Ooh look, bread, salami, bacon, chops, marshmallow, carrot … no carrot … chips, mash, gravy. Dead.

Don’t be mistaken, they all love their kids, that’s why they do it to themselves. They make the supreme sacrifice, give themselves up to the couch so their children will rest safe, play safe, eat safe. Because men are like that. Givers. Carers. Heroes really.

Your dad did it for you. And his dad for him. Some men do it over and over again. Sitting guard on the couch, keeping a watchful eye on the telly, a perked ear listening for the sound of a cry. Only ungluing himself from his IKEA prison to go earn the bacon for the bacon and the baby rice. Bearing his cross around the gut, lumbering off to work, all in the name of love.

Happy Father’s Day (fellow Australians).

(I know it was Sunday, but I was otherwise detained.)

Author

  • David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon missionary they call the Sweet Singer of Israel. He is a British historian and a bishop. David Smith is the biographer of HG Wells, a professor of physics, a composer and a music teacher at Yale. He played rugby for Samoa, England and New Zealand. He created the Melissa worm, a deadly computer virus. He is the Guardian's man in Africa, he starred in a reality TV show and shot his way to silver in the 600m military rifle prone position at the 1920 Summer Olympics in Antwerp. But this isn't that David Smith. This is the blog of the other David Smith. David J Smith. The one from Durban by the Sea. The one who lives in Amsterdam. Yes, him. The David Smith who likes to write about himself in the third person. To learn about all the other David Smiths: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Smith To contact this David Smith: worldfamousartist@gmail.com

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David J Smith

David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon...

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