Irregular employment practices, furtive, adulterous sex in the workplace, rape, blackmail, secret meetings, power and conspiracy — they’re all there, the ingredients central to any riveting political scandal. But Zwelinzima Vavi’s sexual liaison with a female subordinate is so much more than entertainment for the excitable twitterazzi. Indeed, the sexual misconduct that it illustrates and […]
rape
Posted inEquality, Gender violence
How you can tell when someone is a real rape survivor
How should a woman behave to convince us that she was raped? When she breaks down, is hysterical, is rabid, is broken, is ripped apart, is together, is calm, is cold, is hyper sexual, never wants to have sex again, is manic, is depressed, is this right? Should she report and save others, report and […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, News/Politics
Vavi, the rape claim and smear tactic
In a matter of days Zwelinzima Vavi was accused of rape and had the grievance against him dropped. I’m not surprised by this spectacle. What makes me concerned is the question of a rape accusation being simply attributed as a ploy in politics. The woman who dropped the charges demanded R2 million from Vavi in order […]
Posted inMedia, News/Politics
FHM: When a rape joke trumps the news
By Vincent Clery For a long time I have been sitting on the sidelines of an issue that has really irked me. Like most people I am a poor conscientious objector, I keep my opinions to myself, I cowardly express my grievances in safe, dim-lit places. Bars and dinner parties, the occasional early morning coffee […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, Health, News/Politics
Deadly circumcision and initiation practices should be outlawed
Nelson Mandela in his autobiography The Long Walk to Freedom recounts his childhood experience during this rite of passage from boyhood to manhood. He writes: “When I was sixteen, the regent decided that it was time that I became a man. In Xhosa tradition, this is achieved through one means only: circumcision. In my tradition, […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, General, Health
Name and shame?
I got taken to the doctor. He sat opposite me and said exactly nothing, not even hello or how are you. Pale and discomforted, he looked everywhere. And then I saw his cold hand, white shirt cuff, soft beige jersey, slowly pushing one small white tranquiliser halfway across the polished desk. I asked what it […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence, Health
I thought I was alone
Today, for the first time ever, I read a short piece about why some women have an orgasm during rape. It included: “Orgasm during rape isn’t an example of an expression of pleasure. It’s an example of a physical response whether the mind’s on board or not, like breathing, sweating, or an adrenaline rush.” You […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence
‘Unwanted, dirty’: The ‘fictitious’ gang rape (II)
(Continued from previous blog) Bend, Not Break largely shifts between Ping’s nightmarish childhood and her adult life in the US. In America she grows, step by painful step, into a successful businesswoman in the software industry. Before this, sometime after the Cultural Revolution, the Chinese government demanded she leave China. This is because of the […]
Posted inBusiness, Equality, Gender violence, General
‘Unwanted, dirty’ – reading a Chinese woman’s memoir (I)
— Written while recuperating from a broken hand and wrist How everything is already memory. His broken hand cradled, cupped and listened to as its slow bones knit back. The wonder of watching his fingers and palm go through their re-blooming: the fingers learning again to outstretch, then bunch up like an evening blossom that […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence
Beyond the noise: Acting against rape
I am a panellist on SABC2’s Big Debate. The subject is violence against women and the discussions dense with the mismatch of ideas. A sample: Satanism stalks our schools. We live in a demoncrazy — not a democracy. Women who wear 3cm skirts abuse men. Patriarchy is deeply rooted in our lives and thinking. The […]
Posted inEquality, Gender violence
Consent is king KK
NUMBER 1 — Transactional sex is not only really uncool, it is also really dangerous Kenny Kunene went on Noeleen last week with five of his 15 girlfriends (who he only likes to be under the age of 24). Multiple concurrent partners are, as we all should know by now (yet a certain Simply Red […]
Posted inNews/Politics
Why I no longer tell my brother to wear his pants properly
Saggy pants is a popular form of displaying rebellion to teenage respectability by young men who wear their trousers far down their waists, often times generously exposing their underwear. Saggy pants are mostly associated with black male masculinity, which has been highlighted by the imagery often associated with mainstream hip-hop culture. Of course today this […]