I’ll keep this one brief, Mondays are rough enough hey? Four weeks in, here’s what I’ve figured:

Bulls: Stick to your knitting and you’ll be just fine. These ELV malarkeys don’t forbid kicking it long and keeping it tight. Keep Fourie du Preez fit and when in doubt, swing it to Pierre

Cheetahs: Take up a new sport. Anything.

Lions: Heinke will guarantee you don’t go backwards at the set pieces, so with that secured, gooi it to the backs and let them weave their magic. Oh, and concentrate for 80 minutes.

Stormers: Luke Watson plays best when he is making a point. And if there’s no Jean, don’t bother passing to the backs. Oh, and buy a front row.

Sharks: Four-leaf clovers are the truth! But now, what to do when the luck runs out? PS Jannie+Beastie. Beastly!

Special Antipodean mention:

Crusaders: Clone another Dan-yell Caaarder.

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  • Siyabonga Ntshingila is a walking example of how not to go through life productively. Having been chanced his lackadaisical way through an education at one of the country's finest boys schools and a noted university, he then proceeded to unleash his special brand of inertia on the unsuspecting corporate world. Alas, as with all things in life, the scam could not go on forever, and like a deVaselined Ananias Mathe reality caught up with him and he is now (thanks to the undue influence of his beloved) making a living as a freelance writer and a sub-editor for Newstime.

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Siyabonga Ntshingila

Siyabonga Ntshingila is a walking example of how not to go through life productively. Having been chanced his lackadaisical way through an education at one of the country's finest boys schools and a...

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