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Sipho Hlongwane

Posts published by “Sipho Hlongwane”

Sipho Hlongwane is a journalist and columnist for the Daily Maverick.

He is an avid fan of jelly beans, Top Gear, Arsenal and thinks that South Africans tend to take themselves a little too seriously.

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We’re still coping

South Africans are masters of craziness and natural geniuses when it comes to insults.

Tourist-hunting season now open

You know something, this sucks mightily. Tourist-hunting season opens, and we hear of it first from the British? Typical of our authorities. This is incompetence…

Do you have a favourite toilet?

The number of page hits that certain blog posts get on this website would suggest that Thought Leader readers like to read about the government,…

Bono vs The internet

The interwebs were buzzing angrily yesterday because of something Bono* said. Bono, remember him? He’s the frontman for that famous Irish rock band U2. In…

Rejoicing over Manto’s death is grotesque

The news of the death of former health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang broke on Twitter soon after lunch, and it was fun watching the back-and-forth between…

What to buy for the birthday of baby Jesus?

I absolutely love Christmas time. Fewer things bring more pleasure to my heart. The socks nailed to the mantelpiece. The merry crackle of the festive…

I’m declaring a moratorium on ‘copygate’

If I had wanted to be really thick, I would have entitled this piece “I’m Declaring Gategate on ‘-Gate’ “. But there’s a limit to…

What have the bloody savages done now?

There’s a scene in the 1995 Jock of the Bushveld* film that has been seared into my memory. A messenger comes running up to the…

My current predicament is Denny Crane’s fault

It’s December again (“hello, hello Dezember” to my Joburg folk), and your thoughts right now are probably filled with the incredibly arduous job of buying…

Sipho the goatherd

No self-respecting African male is complete without a convincing herd boy experience in his past. It’s very “previously disadvantaged”. If you didn’t grow up in…