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Ndumiso Ngcobo

Posts published by “Ndumiso Ngcobo”

Once upon a time, Ndumiso Ngcobo used to be an intelligent, relevant man with a respectable (read: boring-as-crap) job which funded his extensive beer habit.

One day he woke up and discovered that he had lost his mind, quit his well-paying job, penned a collection of hallucinations. A bunch of racist white guys published the collection just to make him look more ridiculous and called it 'Some of my best friends are white'. (Two Dogs, ISBN 978-1-92013-718-2).

Nowadays he spends his days wandering the earth like Kwai Chang Caine, munching locusts, mumbling to himself like John the Baptist and searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of beer mugs.

The racist publishers have reared their ugly heads again and dangled money in his face to pen yet another collection of hallucinations entitled 'Is It Coz 'm Black'.

He will take cash, major credit cards and will perform a strip tease for contributions to his beer fund.

The Lotto: Tata-ma-chance, tata-ma-stupid?

According to the SA Fact-a-Day website, about half the people who visited a casino to gamble last year did not have a matric qualification. I…

The joys of opposition politics (part II)

(Disclaimer:Work with me here and pretend that my original piece was called “The joys of opposition politics”. I think it’s a neater, snappier and more…

Have you hugged a toilet bowl lately?

(Here’s a little something for those suffering from Pikoli exhaustion. Did it ever occur to anyone that one day our national obsession would be a…

Who do YOU want to be the next president?

In my book I have a chapter entitled “Let the masses eat pap” in which I publicly declare my voting record since 1994 when FW…

Humour-writing instruction — part one

The second-most-popular question I get asked is: “When you sit down to write, are you consciously trying to be funny?” (The most popular is: “Why…

Perfection. The story of one set of tennis

I have never been one for team sports. I prefer the lack of ambiguity associated with individual sports. Mediocre players can still make a living…