Scientists have taken an old wives’ tale and turned it into a reality: volunteers at the University College London actually underwent an out-of-body experience.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/aug/24/2

The impact on our daily lives could be incredible. A person whose mind is operating outside their body could be the scientific find mankind has been waiting for.

Anyone?

If mankind can convince womankind to undergo this experiment, then surely, seeing as they won’t be using their bodies for a while, we might be allowed … I mean, what is the point in their minds wafting around the room while a perfectly good body goes to waste?

Just think of the benefits to those who have yentas with incredible figures.

Ordinarily, you wouldn’t dream of broaching the subject of sex without having to tear your clothes and sit in a sack of ashes for a month.

My missus once told me I’m the worst she’s ever had, which is ridiculous. How can anyone tell all that in six seconds? Didn’t help visiting that house of ill repute to restore my confidence either. They gave me their oldest … she’d been around while the block was being built.

Then she asked me if I’d taken precautions. “Yes, I’ve tied my ankle to the edge of the bed!” I wasn’t falling in there!

Of course you’d need written consent — take this down:

I, the undersigned (her name), do hereby consent to (your name) utilising my body, while I’m undergoing an out-of-body experience.

(Place for signature)

They’ll love it! Oh, look, a flock of pigs just flew past my window.

But sex is not the only benefit for out-of-body experiences:

1. During exams, your mind could leave your body and waft over to someone with a reasonable IQ
who has actually studied, and check out their answers.

2. While having dinner at your in-laws, your mind could pop upstairs and watch sport.

3. While shopping with your missus, your mind could visit the decent shops and skip Pick ‘n Pay and the clothing stores.

NB: Ladies, while driving, please remember to leave your mind with your body. Your cooperation would be most appreciated.

Author

  • Mike Trapido is a criminal attorney and publicist having also worked as an editor and journalist. He was born in Johannesburg and attended HA Jack and Highlands North High Schools. He married Robyn in 1984 (Mrs Traps, aka "the government") and has three sons (who all look suspiciously like her ex-boss). He was a counsellor on the JCCI for a year around 1992. His passions include Derby County, Blue Bulls, Orlando Pirates, Proteas and Springboks. He takes Valium in order to cope with Bafana Bafana's results. Practice Michael Trapido Attorney (civil and criminal) 011 022 7332 Facebook

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Michael Trapido

Mike Trapido is a criminal attorney and publicist having also worked as an editor and journalist. He was born in Johannesburg and attended HA Jack and Highlands North High Schools. He married Robyn...

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