Beverley Merriman

What to know about women

In fairness, it’s not as if the majority of women are totally blameless either. I spend my fair share of time networking and meeting people and honestly, today’s world is like a necklace made of left over beads. It’s time to open the kimono and face up to reality.

Men, rightly, perceive many women today as complicated and overbearing.

Some women get away with a lot. I blame this on the fact that very often men are severely shallow and practice the hot-to-psycho ratio. (If a man goes on a date and the woman starts planning the wedding the following day, it depends on two factors: if she is unattractive, he will label her a fruit-loop but if she’s on par with Catherine Zeta Jones, that level of psychoness is totally acceptable).

Being a businesswoman, I work with my fair share of chicks with dicks. These are the women that are very much in touch with their masculine side. They can do it better than you can, mate! In the extreme form, they will gulp down more beers and shots in a contest than a man and will disguise their loss of reputation by calling on equality.

Let’s not forget the growing number of luxorexics who pride themselves on selective extravagance with a ginormous sense of entitlement. These yatties have their daddies on speed dial and are accustomed to huge allowances.

On offer are also the status-seeking chicks, who, in all likelihood, have been born and bred in a completely average suburban home. These are the women who prioritise and specialise in climbing the social ladder — from discount diva to brand slut.

The bimbos (cute, walking mannequins) always have their T’s and A’s (tits and arses) on display and will eventually end up as dragon ladies! Dragon ladies are the desperate, the divorced and the plastic surgery junkies. Botox is on their weekly task list and they have enough disposable income to put the hardest working man to shame. All the pampering, tanning, grooming and champagne drinking is done in the hope of landing a toy-boy. Shame!

There is also an array of ultra conservative academics on tender. They are the ones that are bound to end up with hairnets, smoking menthols and reading Jane Austin in old age — you better watch out for that breed!

Every man wants the girl next door — the wholesome honey. This type of woman will only last till the man can’t cope with another episode of 7de Laan and the novelty of her mother’s tea and scones wears off.

So how do you pick a girl, guys? I have no idea!

Although women are emancipated, I do believe there should be a balance. As women and men now have equal opportunities, the fairer sex should be thankful for this and embrace their opportunities. Do not exploit, manipulate and drain Mr Nice Guy and flatten his world with your new found power. There is a time and a place for everything. At the end of the day, men want you to show some appreciation and make an effort.