Miriam Mannak
Miriam Mannak

Hit me Doctor, one more time!

I love kids. I really do, and they seem to love me too. Therefore, one day, I hope to cough up some of my very own meenee-meehs. However, too much of one thing is never good for a person, and that definitely counts for mini humans. I therefore refuse to be a baby factory. I want two – max. Why? I’d like to keep my life and boobs life to myself a certain extent, thank you very much. Before you roll your eyes and prepare for the mother of all sighs: I know very well from my mommy friends what a difficult task this is, even with just one babatjie. I am however an ambitious chick with hopes and dreams so please don’t bash them.

So, if one’s social life, sex life, private (non-baby) life and boobs are taking strain because of just one screaming, pooping and puking tiny person, I don’t even want to start imagining what life is like with a litter of three or four or seven. I have got one word that comes to mind: Hell.

Some women obviously do not share my opinion. Take 33-year old Nadya Suleman from the United States. This back then mother of six, delivered a litter of eight babies in 2009. Eight. Insane? yes, especially when taken in consideration that the doctor who made sure Nadya feel pregnant is partially to blame for this freak of nature. Why? The doctor in question implanted twelve embryos into Nadya’s womb. Twelve! This while the limit is six.

I am baffled. I am. Not only because this doctor’s stupidity but because Madya already had six children. Which sane single woman – she does not have a partner – would want to have more than six children? Where will she put them? How will she feed them? How does she remember their names? Can you imagine the mountain of rubbish she’s responsible for? Newborns use between 5 and 8 nappies each and every day. Eight babies = between 40 and64 nappies each and every day. Personally, I think she should be subjected to paying some kind of a green tax to make up for it. If there is something that is not good to Miss Planet, it is disposable nappies. And the doctor, well, he should be paying too. Twelve embryos – what was he thinking?

Look, in the end everyone should do what ever they feel is good for them. If that includes producing a massive family: what ever. Be my guest. It your life and boobs and wallet, not mine. But this situation slightly touches on mad and unethical side. From an environmental and a medical (this simply cannot be healthy) point of view. Among other things.