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Dear Chris, I am here — God

Dear Chris,

It was so good to hear from you again, although it would be nice to hear from you when things are going well — not just a prayer when you have gone and made a mess of things. Again.

Yes, I’ve been watching developments in South Africa for the past several years. I’ve always had such great plans for your part of the world. That’s why I started my special creation down there. Oh, don’t worry what the fundamentalists say — evolution has been my idea from the start. It’s going to be a bit of a shock to Richard Dawkins and his friends when their bodies stop working. You should have seen the look on Nietzsche’s face, and Bertrand Russell just kept saying: “How come I didn’t get it? How come I didn’t get it?” How we all laughed.

You must understand it is important for you to grow and learn. I have such wonderful plans for all of you. Such wonderful, wonderful plans. But you are all still so young and headstrong and arrogant and weak when temptation dances in your path …

This childish bickering between the people you chose to lead you has to stop, of course. But I cannot interfere in your affairs unless you ask me to. I hear each and every prayer, Chris, and I so want to reach out and help you now.

But I have promised never to take away your free will to make your own choices. And your own mistakes. I only interfere if you ask me to, and I always answer each and every prayer. Sometimes I have to say: “No.” Sometimes I say: “Yes,” and sometimes I say: “Maybe, later.”

Just as you did with your children, Chris.

I think you will understand what I mean when I say I have seen this same pattern again and again and again. For thousands and thousands of years.

Somehow you almost always seem to end up killing each other. You guys almost blew the whole thing up just 50 years ago if I hadn’t been called in — even Nikita wised up. And that was right after two unimaginable wars. What will it take for you to learn?

Now you’re on the brink again of destroying that whole, beautiful, incredible planet I gave you. Have a look around. It’s the only one of its kind for trillions of kilometres. It’s not like there’s a rack of spare Earths just waiting on your convenience!

I have told you as simply as possible what to do. I even sent you role models such as Abraham and Moses and prophets and saints, but you refused to pay attention. You refused to make the hard choices. And, hey, Chris, it’s not as if I haven’t given you the tools either. Love — my own agape — courage, compassion, mercy, intelligence, hope, faith, honesty, integrity …

But instead of humility, those silly boys Thabo and Jacob and all their wicked friends who stand around and egg them on prefer to turn their backs on me. I sent you Madiba, but first you tried to break his spirit for 27 years and now you won’t even listen to him any more. And he won’t be there forever, you know!

Most important of all, I sent you my Son so you people could see what I have in mind for you. But still you refused to listen — even when he spoke in the simplest of terms. And showed you things that have taken another 2 000 years to learn.

Then, when He became too troublesome, you found some legal loopholes, bent the laws to suit your ends and killed him. And you of all people, Chris, being an advertising man, should understand the vicious, evil irony of making an outdoor billboard of the most perfect human being ever, my Son.

But He came back — and that’s something no one has ever done before or since. And he showed some ordinary men, much more ordinary than you and those other silly boys, how to do extraordinary things.

And have you paid attention yet? No!

And now I must step in and, what were your words again, do some “guidance” and “urgent influence” and I “need to impress upon all” … what do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past 4 000 years and more?

It’s your bike and you must learn to ride it by yourself. Of course, I’m always here. I always have been. And don’t you suggest fixing South Africa’s problems is a “mega-miracle” for me. Who do you think organised the Big Bang?

Wow! Almost lost my temper there … sorry. I know you mean well, Chris. And you’re not the only one whose been talking to me recently. In fact, the prayer lines have been buzzing non-stop — if you’ll excuse the expression. Yes, you have somehow managed to make a monstrous mess down there. And, if you don’t all stop and think about what I’ve told you before, it will get worse. Look how quickly things spiralled out of control less than a hundred years ago.

Take heart, Chris. Keep urging them to wake up and to shoulder honestly the responsibilities you South Africans gave them.

Remember, I am with you always,


PS: I’ll see what can be done about those interest rates. Davos is just around the corner. Let me see …