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Five things (other than the pledge) that leave me mystified

Why would a racehorse “pee like a racehorse”? If I didn’t have any pants on and I always had grass beneath me, I’d be letting my wee out in small quantities all the time, not storing it up and carrying it around with me just for dramatic effect.

Am I the only one who’s a little freaked out by toilet brushes? They go into the toilet … then they sit there in their little bacteria buckets. Yeeeeeugh!

If you’re chewing on a really old piece of gum with all the colour and flavour drained out of it, would that be called an Orthodox Chew?

Did Medusa ever turn to her husband in a moment of girlish insecurity to ask: “Does my asp look big in this?”

Am I the only one who hears the term “custody battle” and thinks … yum?