Don’t blame her if she’s only interested in your money — not if you’re the one defining yourself by your possessions.

Hey you, sitting in front of a computer. Yes, you. How did I know you were reading this on a computer? I’m psychic. Anyhow, moving right along to more important issues, like women. And money. More specifically, women, men and money. It’s a terrible triangle. You know how it is — a man will chase after money in order to chase women. Then he gets women who love his money but they in turn merely just tolerate him. He can’t be jealous of his money because money is an innate object that evokes all sorts of reactions from people. This reminds me of an ad that Samuel L Jackson did for a bank. In it he talks about money and asks: “Is money evil? If money was a chicken, would the chicken be evil?” Money is not evil — it is what we use it for that can be evil.

One of the great tragedies of life is that our first instinct is to refuse to listen to our instinct, instead we listen to our fragile and often limp egos (otherwise also known as the male genitalia). Any man who thinks with his you-know-what deserves whatever comes his way. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when it is appropriate to think with it, but 98% of the time that men use it to think, it’s not.

Most of the time we deserve the kind of women we end up with. The messages we send out gets us who we end up with. Many guys will meet a beautiful girl in a club, wearing the shortest skirt, and think she must be easy. Meanwhile, she’s on the look out for a dude who will splash out the most money on her for the night. Later, he realises that he got taken for a ride, but didn’t get the ride he was hoping for.

If you think that by flashing your wallet you will get a great woman, the one you really need, then you have a broken wallet and heart coming. You will label all women as selfish, greedy female dogs (my mother taught me not to cuss). We get the women we deserve. Show her your brain, not your wallet. Your heart, not your credit card. If she can’t accept your brain, then she doesn’t deserve your wallet. That’s the way it should be. If you show her the wallet, then she is in love with it not you. If you get treated like an ATM machine, it’s not her fault, it’s yours for allowing your junior member below the belt to do all your thinking for you.

Once at a club that I shall not name, I met a gentleman by the bar — I will call him BEE Guy because that’s what he looked like. BEE Guy was relatively young and well put together. He started a conversation with me and spoke of the obvious: all the beautiful women who were at the club. I agreed with him and just nodded every now and then because I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the loud music. At some point he leant closer and said: “You know, picking them up would be so much easier if we were allowed to drive in here in our cars.” I was shocked by what I heard. Obviously BEE Guy couldn’t count on his charms or charisma. All he could rely on was his money. What defined him was his stuff. Money. Car. And more stuff.

Allow me to quote the obscenely wealthy old white guy George Soros, he is someone who can speak on the subject of money and the importance we place upon it with far greater authority than I can. I quote: “Unsure of what they stand for, people increasingly rely on money as the criterion of value. What is more expensive is considered better … People deserve respect and admiration because they are rich. What used to be a medium of exchange has usurped the place of fundamental values, reversing the relationship postulated by economic theory. What used to be professions have turned into businesses. The cult of success has replaced a belief in principles. Society has lost its anchor.”

We define character by how much we have and the kind of cars we drive, in order to get a certain kind of woman, to impress people we don’t even like! What’s the point? If you lured a women with your wallet instead of your personality, if she likes your stuff more than she likes you, she not a … err … female dog, she’s doing what you taught her to do. A real man will be confident in who he is, not what he has. If he happens to have money, power and everything else, that’s a bonus.

Author

  • Khaya Dlanga* By day he perpetuates the evils of capitalism by making consumers feel insecure (he makes ads). For this he has been rewarded with numerous Loerie awards, Cannes Gold, several Eagle awards and a Black Eagle. Khaya has an ego-crushing bank balance but an ego-boosting 6.5 million views on the popular video-sharing website YouTube. Africa's top Digital Citizen Journalist in 2008 for innovative use of the internet, at the Highway Africa conference, the largest gathering of African journalists in the world. Jeremy Maggs' "The Annual - Advertising, Media & Marketing 2008" listed him as one of the 100 most influential people in Advertising, Media & Marketing. Winner of Financial Mail's Adfocus New Broom award 2009. He has listed these accolades to make you think more highly of him than you ought to. * The views expressed in this or any future post are not necessarily his own (unless of course you agree with them). khayav.com http://twitter.com/khayadlanga http://dearbhutikhaya.wordpress.com/ [email protected]

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Khaya Dlanga

Khaya Dlanga* By day he perpetuates the evils of capitalism by making consumers feel insecure (he makes ads). For this he has been rewarded with numerous Loerie awards, Cannes Gold, several Eagle awards...

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