Right-wingers continue to huddle and mutter about Armageddon. The Youth are supposedly led by a confused victim of social Down’s syndrome, and homosexuality has never had such a bad month. Ricky Martin and ET? Ouch. Obviously, the local crime scene experts have never watched CSI — letting an imaginary condom vanish, and failing to notice a tooth lying among the trappings of right-wing success (a blood spattered bed frame, a threadbare carpet and scattered rumours). Meanwhile, Julius has left Zimbabwe with all the goodies he needs to set up a Zanu SA franchise in Sandton, of all places, serving cheap and deep-fried sound bites to low-budget takers. It’ll be a tough day for the hungry when they realise that all they have to show for their loyalty is a stomach ache and a bitter taste, while the man they follow has only added calories to his own bloated, Gucci-upholstered belly that can’t stomach real questions. Funny enough, we do share some common ground — I also hate bloody agents.

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  • You can follow John on Twitter if you like @fortyshort. John Vlismas is an increasingly reclusive former hell-raising coke fiend and fall-down drunk. Now a scuba teacher and far better father; he is an award-winning anti-socialite, has played The Royal Albert Hall and has been described as "blunt" but also as "sharp". He has little regard for team sports and his name is very often mispronounced. He is also the co-owner of a company called "Whacked", which does good things for local comedy.

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John Vlismas

You can follow John on Twitter if you like @fortyshort. John Vlismas is an increasingly reclusive former hell-raising coke fiend and fall-down drunk. Now a scuba teacher and far better father; he is...

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