Hansie Smit

Steve Jobs crashed my job interview

Not too long ago a job interview was still a meeting between two people; one looking for a job the other looking for an employee. A friendly receptionist would offer you a glass of water where you sat waiting in the foyer trying to look intelligent reading Time magazine. Moments later she would show you…

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Season finale — United States of Gullible

We open on a triumphant Saturday night White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Our hero, Barack Obama, trumps a toupee sitting in the audience with a birth certificate all the way from Hawaii. The toupee accused Obama of being non-American so we start the dinner with clips from Karate Kid and Hulk Hogan’s Real American song playing…

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A tribute to Easter (sans bunnies)

Last time I went egg hunting was two months ago when Spar management surprised everyone and moved their eggs from next to the bread to the fresh produce aisle. They also ran a special on hot-cross buns that day which lead me to believe Spar thought it was Easter — in February. As I shopped…

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Vodacom is not red — Vodacom is dead

How dumb does Vodacom think we are? We know what Vodafone’s logo looks like. It’s a red pointy thing with a white circle around. I realise creative advertising sometimes leaves something to the imagination but slapping the word Vodacom on Vodafone branding and expecting us to imagine it’s still Vodacom is a bit much. The…

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Lurking and loving it

I’m pretty sure Dan Brown lost that symbol of his on Twitter. I know this because, unlike active twitterers, I lurk in the shadows and read what they tweet. And sometimes they tweet things like, “RT @spytap: @wildurst @antichrista Yay! #shoutout #it’sbeenawhile #justsaying”. This now passes for a sentence on Twitter — a series of…

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An open letter to open letters

Dear Letters You might not be aware of this but you are making one helluva comeback here in the Republic of South Africa. In this age of emails, SMSs and tweets our country is knuckling down getting back to basics sorting things out with good old fashioned letters. Fake, red, legal, formal – we do…

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Charlie’s crazy, Kuli’s crazy, Gaddafi’s crazy — we’re ALL crazy

It’s been going around. Even Barack Obama is crazy. Instead of sending Libya’s hallucinating leader some anti-psychotics, he accuses him of delusions of grandeur and strategically positions his navy close-by ready to fight craziness with craziness. That’s crazy. The same type of crazy Pravin Gordhan must be if he thinks we’ll stop partying if he…

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A day in the life of Bono

It’s Sunday morning. You touch down in a new country to promote an album you made back in ’09. Your shiny Learjet comes to a halt on Lanseria’s tarmac. You stick your hand out the window and sense it’s going to be a scorcher. You fling open the cupboard and pick out the thinnest black…

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It’s your municipality, pal

The municipal elections are here and with it voter apathy. Or translated: young people who don’t vote. To be fair, the word municipal has about as much appeal to a young person as a fun-filled evening playing bridge. Adding elections to municipal makes it even worse. To grab the attention of a young person you…

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How to act foreign at a local backpackers

I recently slipped up at a backpackers in Cape Town and greeted the guy behind reception with a friendly “howzit”. He gave me one look and asked me to leave. It’s no secret SA backpackers have a dirty habit of turning away locals. As a local I can’t afford mistakes like that. I’m living in…

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