Lloyd Gedye
Lloyd Gedye

Pick on someone your own size!

Quokka

It seems that Australian rugby players are so down in the dumps after a shocking 2007 in the oval game that they have resorted to beating up marsupials to feel better.

Yes, people, you heard me correctly; luckily there was a witness named Dan Andrews who was on hand to report this shocking behaviour, and now the players — from the Western Force franchise — might lose their contracts. Only fair; I mean, who beats up an animal not much bigger than a hedgehog for fun?

The incident apparently occurred on Rottnest Island just off the west coast of Australia. The press is reporting that more than four players were involved in manhandling the quokkas after 10pm last Friday evening.

The players allegedly “slam-dunked” the quokkas, with another player swinging them by the tail and then releasing them like a hammer-throw.

Now having been to Rottnest and seen quokkas up close and personal (I think they actually only exist on Rottnest — but I may be wrong), I just can’t believe this. How old are these rugby players — 10? This sounds like teenage tomfoolery, which although distasteful might be excusable if they were teenagers. These are grown men and they should know better — sadists!

I reckon that Perth’s animal activists need to let The Force no that this is unacceptable and make their life hell until action is taken. Apparently the Western Force’s misconduct committee had initially found that “no mistreatment” of the quokkas had taken place with a team official stating that the players were just being “curious”. However, with more witnesses coming forward, it seems the incident will be further investigated.

As if that wasn’t enough, the players are alleged to have stolen beer from Irish tourists on the island too. What’s the bet this will all end up in a nice cover-up — Shane Warne, Mark Waugh’s tipping off bookies, anyone, or how about Ben Tune’s doping scandal? Let’s wait and see!