My last post as an aggrieved Nedbank customer drew a lot of interest and made me, very briefly I admit, almost as popular as Michael Trapido. Encouraged, I offer you Chapter 2 of my small business nightmare: today Telkom cut off my phones without warning.

When I finally got through to their call-centre I was told it was because the bill was unpaid — though I haven’t yet had sight of their invoice (the lines were only installed last month). You’d think they’d call a business customer first before cutting them off. Pigs. Call-centre person told me that, yes, they sometimes did that but they weren’t obliged to.

Despite paying them the outstanding amount by credit card by 9.30am this morning the phones remained out of service all day. Call-centre person warned me it would be useless to phone and bitch about not reconnecting me because Telkom was only obliged to reconnect in 48 hours. She hinted that if I was lucky it might only take three hours, but I suspect that was just to get rid of me.

Forty-eight hours to reconnect a business phone. Only a stinky-shite monopoly could get away with this spectactular arrogance and indifference.

Before I made the move to our new premises I was keen to give Neotel a chance. So I borrowed one of their fancy wireless data phones and took it to the new building to see if I could get a signal. Stupid me. Neotel has been digging up just about every frigging pavement in Johannesburg, putting base-stations all around the city but I happen to have chosen neo-no-man’s-land. Go figure.

Will Telkom connect me tomorrow (Thursday) or will those useless bastards just let us flip-flop like beached fish? I’m betting they let us sweat till the last minute of the 48th hour. And then some.

UPDATE: Nedbank apologised to me this week for its appalling behaviour. They even promised to pay me interest on the money they pocketed for 10 days. Apparently it’s around R900. Per my original blog on this saga, the money is to be given to a charity. Suggestions welcomed.

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Bruce Cohen

A former journalist, in recent years founder and CEO of Absolute Organix.

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