Michael Trapido

Liverpool to retain Suarez for Crufts

Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers moved swiftly to quell any talk of serial biter Luis Suarez leaving Anfield following the striker’s attack on Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic midway through the second half of yesterday’s 2-2 draw with Chelsea. Rodgers said that as soon as the striker returned to the changeroom he had given him several smacks…

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Shocking truth about the dangers facing the rhino

If anyone were to conduct a survey on what constitutes the gravest danger to the survival of the rhinoceros in Africa the results, in all likelihood, would show that most people believe that it is the threat posed by poachers. The shocking truth, in my humble opinion, is that it is this perception which in…

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The Trapido Diet

The government, Mrs Traps, has being going on and on at me about getting in touch with my feminine side, lovely lass from Alberton, but as soon as she found out that I had done I landed up having to sleep in the car. This from a woman who says that I’m the worst lay…

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Bar One man audits Nk*ndla, arrests Malema

As entertaining as the Bar One Man rescuing a keg of beer from a burning building may be, it suffers the same fate as anything produced by the WWE wrestling crowd, everyone knows it’s rigged. Now the brand is putting together a reality television show with “tough physical and mental challenges”. Instead, and in order…

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City Power speaking in tongues

With the Easter and Passover holy days a thing of the past I was wondering, get the editor a Valium, whether we, as South Africans, aren’t missing out on a trick — religious tourism. Don’t snigger, if anyone knows about history and religion it’s me, everything my wife serves has a best before the Big…

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SABC bored, what about Honey Boo Boo?

South Africans, faced with rampant inflation and severe austerity measures, are once again bemoaning their fate, threatening emigration and promising politicians that there will be bedlam at the next elections instead of concentrating on producing those things that make this country great. What? Take a step back and answer this question: When the Americans ran…

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FNB’s Steve the answer to the ANCYL’s PR woes

The election of Pope Francis by a conclave of cardinals in the Vatican, the African National Congress Youth League’s NEC being dissolved by the ANC and the Oscar Pistorius shooting incident have been dwarfed into insignificance again this week as “recordings” of “Steve” from beeb Bank to FNB customers are played and replayed on 94.7…

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SA conclave to elect leaders

Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, a 76-year-old Argentine, was elected as the 266th pope which has occasioned an outpouring of unfettered joy from the world’s Catholic community and, let’s face it, no-little pride among South Americans who are happily basking in his glory this morning. What has this got to do with South Africa? Anyone? That’s…

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Zuma to transfer Lulu and Oscar to Manchester United

Every time an English Premier League prima donna gets left out of an important game or is criticised by his boss the media goes tilt trying to figure out when he will be sold, for how much and to whom. A good case in point being Wayne Rooney who was benched for the vital Champions…

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Zuma: The nation’s in a state

Say it just like you would “The Lord’s Prayer” Our President, which aren’t in Nk*ndla, Hello, be thy lame? Thy taxes come. Thy e-toll be done in Gauteng, As it is in KwaZulu-Natal and parts of the Cape. Give us this day a policeman as commissioner. And forgive us our minister of women, As we…

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