Tag Archives: parody

Gauteng education department ‘kacks bark’

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa Gauteng Education released an angry worded statement, lashing out at critics who pointed fingers at the provincial department for poor spelling in a “Mathematical Literacy P1 Memorandum”. This memorandum was an answer sheet handed out to teachers by the Ekurhuleni North District for a grade 11 standardised maths literacy exam, which contained…

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ANC ends period of parliamentary pleasantness

CAPE TOWN, South Africa The African National Congress (ANC) today announced that the ruling party had ended its period of congeniality in SA’s parliamentary caucus. “We rolled out the red carpet to welcome the EFF and their ugly onesies to Parliament, but after they made the parliamentary caucus raucous, there will be no more Mr…

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JSE launches petroleum jelly exchange

The Johannesburg Stock Exchange today announced it would launch an international petroleum jelly market in what is set to be the largest soft paraffin futures exchange in the world. This as growing volumes in the trade of multi-hydrocarbons followed in the wake of Jacob Zuma’s presidency in 2009. The market for petroleum jelly, the JSE…

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Steve Hofmeyr – SA’s first man without a brain

Neuroscientists at Groote Schuur, Cape Town’s premier academic hospital, today admitted that they were baffled about how alleged author, singer and self-styled Afrikaner saviour Steve Hofmeyr had existed for more than 50 years without a brain. Hofmeyr was airlifted to the pioneering medical centre – the scene of the world’s first heart transplant – after…

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On the interpretation of a painting

I did not really want to write this piece, knowing full well that it would be greeted by howls of derision and by vituperative incomprehension in many quarters. But as events unfolded in the wake of the public display, at the Goodman Gallery in Johannesburg, of the Brett Murray painting metaphorically titled The Spear, reaching…

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