Beverley Merriman

What to know about women

In fairness, it’s not as if the majority of women are totally blameless either. I spend my fair share of time networking and meeting people and honestly, today’s world is like a necklace made of left over beads. It’s time to open the kimono and face up to reality.

Men, rightly, perceive many women today as complicated and overbearing.

Some women get away with a lot. I blame this on the fact that very often men are severely shallow and practice the hot-to-psycho ratio. (If a man goes on a date and the woman starts planning the wedding the following day, it depends on two factors: if she is unattractive, he will label her a fruit-loop but if she’s on par with Catherine Zeta Jones, that level of psychoness is totally acceptable).

Being a businesswoman, I work with my fair share of chicks with dicks. These are the women that are very much in touch with their masculine side. They can do it better than you can, mate! In the extreme form, they will gulp down more beers and shots in a contest than a man and will disguise their loss of reputation by calling on equality.

Let’s not forget the growing number of luxorexics who pride themselves on selective extravagance with a ginormous sense of entitlement. These yatties have their daddies on speed dial and are accustomed to huge allowances.

On offer are also the status-seeking chicks, who, in all likelihood, have been born and bred in a completely average suburban home. These are the women who prioritise and specialise in climbing the social ladder — from discount diva to brand slut.

The bimbos (cute, walking mannequins) always have their T’s and A’s (tits and arses) on display and will eventually end up as dragon ladies! Dragon ladies are the desperate, the divorced and the plastic surgery junkies. Botox is on their weekly task list and they have enough disposable income to put the hardest working man to shame. All the pampering, tanning, grooming and champagne drinking is done in the hope of landing a toy-boy. Shame!

There is also an array of ultra conservative academics on tender. They are the ones that are bound to end up with hairnets, smoking menthols and reading Jane Austin in old age — you better watch out for that breed!

Every man wants the girl next door — the wholesome honey. This type of woman will only last till the man can’t cope with another episode of 7de Laan and the novelty of her mother’s tea and scones wears off.

So how do you pick a girl, guys? I have no idea!

Although women are emancipated, I do believe there should be a balance. As women and men now have equal opportunities, the fairer sex should be thankful for this and embrace their opportunities. Do not exploit, manipulate and drain Mr Nice Guy and flatten his world with your new found power. There is a time and a place for everything. At the end of the day, men want you to show some appreciation and make an effort.

  • James Tobias

    “Every man wants the girl next door — the wholesome honey.”

    Now there’s a statement. You seem to have men sussed yet your articles suggest otherwise.

    “Although women are emancipated, I do believe there should be a balance.”

    Fickle my darling,fickle. To have your cake and eat it.

    You didnt touch a nerve, far from it. Try all of them.

  • Maud Letzler

    Men should learn to adapt to the new woman…or die. Balance equals compromise, and compromise is someone losing out. Both parties should be able to do whatever they like, with no compromise, that is a relationship that will last. Respect each others choices and if they clash, you don’t belong.

  • Gustav Bertram

    Every man wants a wholesome honey? In one fell swoop, you not only stereotyped all men, but also dictated to every woman how she should act. Nice.

    We know that stereotypes of skin tone, culture, gender and sexual orientation are harmful. They allow to us stop treating people like people.

    Why then is it all right to put people into other categories? Not a single one of your descriptions are flattering. Even the “wholesome honey” is described as intolerably bland.

    How do I deal with women? I treat them like individuals. This is probably why I meet so many fascinating women. I don’t stare myself blind against any stereotype.

  • Po

    Maud, it is wierd that you say that. I have found in my own relationship (8 yrs) that compromise is key.

    I used to think that if I had to compromise, then we would have to move on. Then I realised that he was the best thing in my life. I put my relationship above other things sometimes, because I realise that that is what is most important in my life. And it is a two way thing, we both compromise, it is not one sided.

  • Ahz

    WOW. you need some serious rehabilitation as a woman.

  • Craig

    Coincidence or not, the fact that an advert banner saying “Chinese Ladies for Marriage – Carefully Selected & Verified” popped up alongside this article is damn funny :)

  • jaycee

    Let us assume:
    1. You are from planet earth;
    2. You are not going through some kind of psychological trauma;
    3. That if you were to give evidence in court for whatever reason you could be described as a reasonable witness;
    4. and a few other things.

    THEN I must admit you are a person with very peculiar observations: Devastatingly honest to almost a degree of imbalance. Your column yesterday did touch a raw nerve in me (of course!) and my first reaction was: Such a girl of a bastard!

    But you are entitled to your opinion about men which, you must admit, most men would not find very endearing. Today is girl bashing day. BUT somewhere between the lines we can hear you also (only a very slight whisper though) expressing doubt about your viewpoints. Now THAT is great!!!! Leave the back door open, not only in one’s mind but also when it comes to the honey next door!

  • Mandrake

    Mandrake pulls up his camp-chair closer to his braai stand. he reaches over to the cooler to get a cold Heineken. He takes his first gulp and berps accordingly. He wipes the foam from his dry lips and grins anticipating the oncoming onslaught

  • Mandrake

    Every man wants the girl next door — the wholesome honey. This type of woman will only last till the man can’t cope with another episode of 7de Laan and the novelty of her mother’s tea and scones wears off.

    The above is so true. But my salvation has always been my direct manner. i like talking and making myself understood. I also make her sign a disclaimer that she understands that i’m not a mind reader and my brain-cells need keg or 2 or bitter to be fully operational.

    But i really don’t know, theres not set formula. You just trust your gut instinct and ask God to give you a nudge if you’re veering off the beaten track.

    Chizama gulps and smacks his lips…

  • Maenad

    Who is this person? Ah yes, the “ideas magician”!

  • Nick

    The hot-to-psycho thing alsdo works the other way round for women: the definition of a stalker is any man that calls you once or more (when you’d rather he didn’t). A man you (think you) like on the other hand – even if a complete stranger for that matter – can call you 10 times a day and that’s known as ‘caring’, ‘devoted’ or ‘interested’.

  • Nigel

    I like women coz they’re different. I like riding horses coz they’re difficult. Winning over both, not dominating them, is fantastically rewarding.

  • Rory Short

    Everybody, male or female, is a unique individual and appreciating their unique otherness when you meet them is what enriches any relationship.

  • Bev Merriman

    James – would you like to explore other adjectives for me other than fickle? Maybe try volatile or feisty? Maybe funny?

    Maud – Thanks for your input. Respect will solve the worlds problems.

    Gustav – The question you need to ask yourself is what are the point using clear stereotypes…

    Ahz – Rehabilitation. They take cuties like me in places like that?

    Craig – The universe has a sense of humour.

    Jaycee – Sorry to disappoint you and prove your theory wrong. I have very set views, that were pre-written and submitted to the editor as a set so he can make sense of it all. I might surprise you all and turn out to be a really sane cutie-pie…but then again I could be a vicious Chihuahua.

    Mandrake – Your comments rock! Hope the onslaught met your standards.

    Nick – You right, it does work both ways. Clearly I won’t have any stalkers for a while…*giggle*

  • james

    Nice article.As said treat everyone as indivuals.Women have more opportunity than men these days so take them ,but dont manupilate the situations to suit women and then cry foul towards men.Females are complex ,men are simple if females cant understand men how are males ever going to understand females.Point is do what comes naturally ,so cliqued but true

  • Jack Salas

    The writer is too young and inexperienced but it doesn’t stop her from giving her opinion based on a limited exposure to life. I have been married for 62 years,have four daughters -they all tell me what to do. And sometimes I do it. Jack

  • James Tobias

    “James – would you like to explore other adjectives for me other than fickle? Maybe try volatile or feisty? Maybe funny?”

    Would love to have, unfortunately your follow up was just as sweeping, shallow and condescending.
    Although in fairness I could have used adjectives like placid, dour and grim I suppose.
    For your pieces of course – as I dont know you.

  • Legodip

    I wish my girlfriend could find this blog.

  • sizo Mkhz

    Watch out David Bullard, there is a “new” creature. She is a work of art, with a twist to it. Your posts Bev makes me think of one ancient pschologist who said sumtyms we express views which we don’t necessarily practise but nevertheless they are innate in us. Afraid to do those acts yet residing somewhere in us. Keep on pouring that fire & juices. You kinda good, I have shifted a bit from my computer desk when reading your posts. I suppose thats what good writting is suppose to do i.e Respond. Not to bad. But now be careful that your fellow species don’t feel LEFT OUT with all the perceived potential attention u will be receiving, I can sense some green eyed monsters. Grrr….

  • Trish

    LOL you must be doing something right… your first two posts have received almost 2000 views. I don’t think even Traps gets that much!

  • Bev Merriman

    James – Thanks for the comment. It’s been really awesome reading some positive ones too!

    Jack – Oh yeah right. I forgot that being young made me unobservant and stupid. It is however good to know that I will become a genius with age.

    James T – You are my sunshine, my ray of sunshine….I do find your specie intriguing. Take me to your leader – then again, you probably the king of your own castle, which is why you use to passing criticism.

    Legodip – Oohh! Dying to know why?

    sizo Mkhz – *blushing* A comparison to Bullard – awesome! The man is a genius! Thank you for your comment, it made me smile, gave me inspiration and some strength to handle the pack of green-eyed monsters popping up all over the place.

    Trish – Eish – but the nerves! Might have been too much excitement for one week!

  • Jack Salas

    No you won’t become a genius – they are born that way. You may ,however,gain a little commonsense when you reach the despised old age.

  • James Tobias

    My apologies for coming across as negative, but would you rather receive disingenious flattery with every word.
    I do not doubt you are a bright capable person, but what I do see is you using this age-old subject for little more than mustering up hits for your blog.
    Perhaps you have political ambitions where this would be more suited – like kissing babies.