We all have secrets. We all have some hidden tales that have been silently stacked away for years. But, today is the day of truth! The day the real facts about our Thought Leaders are revealed. Using the the latest forensic technology, modern investigation techniques and, of course … wait for it … Break.com. I have delved into the secret lives of our elite bloggers and will reveal it all to you …
Note: All characters and events in this blog, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional.
Vincent Maher, who has sporadic feelings of technology being bad religion, is the Mail & Guardian Online‘s digital strategist by day. When the sun sets he experiments in his basement with some less innovative technology … attempting to inflate a tyre larger than Zuma’s mid-September ego … Vince quickly learns that the bubble inevitably bursts!
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Michael Trapido, our notorious criminal attorney (who we hope will take a gentle look at this post of humour), often needs to escape “the government” by squeezing in a round of golf. This is done more often than one would think … so often that his skills as a driver in his modified golf cart would rival those of the Stig. He shows off these skills at every opportunity he has — sweet!
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Ndumiso Ngcobo fancies a good brewsky when he’s not diminishing his soul with corporate consultancy jobs. Very often he has a few too many and causes mayhem in his neighbourhood. He recently learned two fatal lessons — don’t drink and drive your niece’s plastic Barbie car. Don’t let your white mates tow you in said plastic Barbie car with their Bantam bakkie.
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Tony Lankester, our brave podcast guru, recently took a break from the working world in search of some more free stuff (the paperweights, calendars and clock radios were starting to clutter his desk). Testing his bravery he opted to dive off a 33-foot water tower … the only free thing he got was a slapping back flop.
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Jarred Cinman, furious at the traffic congestion, recently opted to trade in his car for a super bike. The salesman had him by the short and curlies when he exposed a full-face helmet capable of playing Jarreds top five f**k-you songs of all time. Combined with his emerging midlife crisis and his unused laptop-back-back he set off and joined a biker gang to find his inner Valentino. After a pleasant outride one Sunday, he was enjoying himself so much (or his riding skills weren’t as refined as his management skills) he forgot to stop … this one ends badly.
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Arthur Goldstuck has always had an incredible craving for research. One evening, after checking his Facebook wall posts and summarising several network statistics he was picked up by some buddies for a “private research session”. Bored with the evolution of the internet, he thought it would be a good idea to report back on the durability of a Magnum condom at highway speeds. We’d love to know why his mate keeps calling him “Joe” but are especially surprised at how long the condom lasts in the wind.
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