News/Politics

Mangrove Jungle (Tiger) Survival Expert

The world has gone crazy. So what if a black African parent allowed their child to be called “the coolest monkey in the jungle”, in exchange for money. It’s their prerogative as to what exactly constitutes an insult. It’s not like the child was illiterate, it’s not like his parents were illiterate. That’s not even…

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A letter for Ahed Tamimi

Ahed Tamimi is in prison. She cannot communicate with you. She cannot tell you this herself. So I will say this, and I hope that she will agree. Dear Palestinian Child, Know that you are precious, that you are valued, that you are loved. You are not the illgotten spawn of a nothing people. You…

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Two centres of nonsense

Now the drums will sound for Radical Economic Transformation from the Zuma administration, loudly, boldly, unashamedly and without distraction. What that means is that further efforts must be made by the majority of the polity, to provide the majority of society with the majority of the economy. Simple. This differs from affirmative action, which is…

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The weakness of the ANC

The current elective conference of the ANC makes me think, involuntarily, of the decline of this once-proud, 105-year old organisation, to the point where it has been too weak to do the obvious thing, namely to ‘recall’ (their chosen euphemism for discharge, or fire) their current (and soon-to-be-replaced) president, Jacob Zuma. The funny thing, which…

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Part 6 of 6: Speeches

Today is the final day, a day made available to the Top 8 and the NEC to speak. They will speak carefully, they will speak responsibly and they will talk courageously. Don’t believe any of it. The last day’s speeches is a notorious opportunity for the Top 8 and the NEC to get it out…

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Part 5 of 6: Plenary

Today the big wigs will be reporting what emerged from the caucusing, making it seem like they care. The big wigs are just winding you up with some touchy feely nonsense to keep you energised about your homework to help achieve policy goals. They will spend the entire day reminding you that it is only…

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Part 4 of 6: Caucus

Now having established the leadership for the next five years, there will be pronouncements from the Policy Conference held earlier this year. More blah-blah-blah while the children starve. Posturing by newly elected leaders taking responsibility for the implementation of policies, starts the promissory ball rolling, “these new leaders will deliver”. Nonetheless this is an opportunity…

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Part 3 of 6: Election

Nominations flew thick and fast this last year. But now it seems that the results from the branches and provinces will be counted along with the votes from the women’s league, youth league and veterans league and other sections of the congress to establish a vote. Rather than this this process should be restricted to…

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Part 2 of 6: Plenary

Struggling with breakfasts, not enough suitpockets for buffet to go into. Lurching toward the conference centre, nursing a GUINNESS, gonzo’s gone so loud, they may have stocked enough GUINNESS in the fridge skirripoppop man likes. This tented-hall, This expo-centre, will it fit all the gatherings? Will it constrain all the pleadings? Will it dampen the…

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Part 1 of 6: Registration

It feels overwhelming this cavalcade of registrations each claiming to be authentic and yet none seeming to be real. Fake people for a fake race for fake taste. Skrrrrrrilup pup pup pup doom doom tak tak. Its over, you weasels were ducking. Skriiiiiiidi pup pup pup doom doom tak tak, it’s over me man was…

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