Years ago I went through something of an alternative phase. I burnt incense. I learned to read tarot cards (long story. Don’t ask). I also bought into notions of positive thinking and visualisation, which in many ways prefigured that most malign of publications, The Secret. In many ways, what triggered all of this was an […]
Lifestyle
Posted inLifestyle, Sport
Berry Nieuwenhuys: The Free State boykie who almost played for England
Imagine this. You’re a youngster playing a minor club game of football in Boksburg when a man dashes on to the field during a lull in play and asks if you’d like to play for Liverpool. You wonder if he’s for real, but, of course, accept. A few weeks later, on the other side of […]
Posted inLifestyle, News/Politics
Gun control — clutching at straws
As I labour away at my keyboard I can hear excited Englishmen on Sky News babbling on in the background about a much-needed revamp of British gun laws. Good! If the law is changed so as to make guns more accessible to the ordinary Englishman the authorities could in future warn him about the eruptions […]
Posted inLifestyle, News/Politics
Who’s afraid of the big, bad moffie?
What is it about homosexuality that inspires such hatred in others — and most frequently on the part of men? I mean often the degree of hatred, and the violence it often inspires, seems completely out of proportion to whatever threat homosexuality seemingly poses. Recent events in Malawi are a case in point, though such […]
Posted inLifestyle
Goodbye Amsterdam
It is time again to leave this town. To go. I will miss Amsterdam and her whims. I will miss the shops that never open. The waiters who stand behind the bar, chatting, never knowing that you are there. Or at least, doing a very good job to pretend. I will miss plates of cheese […]
Posted inLifestyle
Shosholoza at a Blue Bulls game!?
By Michael Clark Last weekend I witnessed a middle-aged white Afrikaner “Oom” hailing a black taxi from the side of the road for himself and his family. I witnessed groups of whites trawling the streets at night looking for a pub to have a celebratory drink … in Soweto! I witnessed blue vuvuzelas and black […]
Posted inLifestyle
Ms Patta, lead us not into racial tension
I am almost tempted to open this piece with a disclaimer stating that the views expressed here are not in any way a personal attack on the main character, but then again based on my main character’s evident thrill from personally attacking people, what the hell. Last night, in an attempt to get my monthly […]
Posted inBusiness, Lifestyle, Media
Brand spanking: Nestlé gets hijacked
By now I’m sure you’ve seen the video clip: an office employee, bored stiff at work, decides to “have a break, have a KitKat” — only those aren’t slender fingers of dark chocolate and biscuit he’s snacking on, but orangutan fingers, and just look at the blood dripping off his chin! The goal of the […]
Posted inLifestyle
What’s your favourite personalised plate?
This morning as I was heading to work along Bryanston Drive, I spotted a black Merc coupe with the numberplate FINALLY. I wondered what this could possibly mean. Was this car a reward for years of hard work? A moan about the waiting list for Merc coupes? It was the automotive equivalent of Vaguebooking. The […]
Posted inLifestyle
Pizza with the Commandant
We had been to visit the small township that clings to the crag above the monied guts of Hout Bay. Afrika is a tour guide who walks conscious tourists through this matrix of elemental and exposed souls. Reconfigured billboards are cold comfort compared to the promises they make on their faded skins. This notwithstanding, the […]
Posted inLifestyle
If you call me ‘gorgeous’ I will hate you
The other evening, while downloading mail as I sat in the Rosebank Mugg & Bean and cursing the fact that the waiter had brought me wine that tasted like cooldrink, a student approached me. He launched into his sales pitch so quickly I had no time to ask him (politely) to leave me alone. Instead, […]
Posted inLifestyle
Peak oil crisis just ain’t sexy enough
By Roger Diamond Your grandmother passing away at a ripe old age from general ailments will never make the headlines. A person in their prime, stricken by a nasty disease or a fatal accident is always good, newsworthy material. This seems to be a simple formula, which rules in all fields and areas of information, […]